I learned an extremely valuable lesson from the last man I dated. Something I will carry with me always as a single woman, and I am sure it will save a lot of men from heartache.
I met “Mark” we will call him, two months ago. I used the infamous Tinder dating app in meeting him. He seemed like a nice guy so I agreed to go out for dinner one night.
Right from the start, Mark spoiled me, treating me to a $100 steak dinner on just the first date. He met me there with flowers. I thought it was so chivalrous and sweet.
I knew right there on the first date — my feelings weren’t that strong, but I was hoping they would grow. Praying at one point even! He treated me like a queen. I knew I wasn’t that attracted to him looks-wise or personality-wise, but I felt I should give him a shot.
Why? Because he treated me SO. GOOD. He wined and dined me, bought me gifts, adored me, listened to me when I was upset, was emotionally supportive, was sweet to my little girl, complimented me, and even helped me a little financially at times. Good god, he made it hard to leave. Especially during Christmas time when I was struggling as a single mum with no child support. How a man treats you is super important.
So I waited.
Top Comments
I don't think Whitney was wrong in hoping for feelings to develop over time; nor do I think she should have broken up with Mark after the first date or even the first few dates. I DO think she should have been honest with him after those first few dates about "not feeling it" and then having a MUTUAL discussion about what they could or would do about that and whether they wanted to continue: it's that lack of communication and then that unilateral decision from her part that has surprised and hurt him so much. He did need to be a little more mature in his response, and perhaps in future learn to take it a bit more slowly to start with - he seems to have gone in thinking "she's the one" straight away and probably invested too much in the relationship too early, given how one sided it seems to have been.
He wasn't bad boy enough maybe