fashion

The 9 most urgent questions we have about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's TIME photoshoot.

Okay.

So a photographer man at TIME Magazine did a weird job and hoped no one would notice.

Mate. 

Like same??

But unfortunately, front page photoshoots of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle don't tend to be... overlooked. 

On Wednesday, new images of Meghan and Harry were released as part of TIME's 100 Most Influential People issue. The couple appeared on one of seven covers - which featured the likes of US gymnast Simone Biles, actress Kate Winslet, and musician Billie Eilish. 

But none have attracted quite the same level of attention as an image of what looks to be a hairdresser encouraging his client to 'tell me now if you don't like it hun because we can't do anything about it once you go home'. 

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Why is it like this. 

We just. 

Have so many questions. But also concerns. 

TIME wrote, "In a world where everyone has an opinion about people they don't know, the duke and duchess have compassion for the people they don't know. They don't just opine. They run toward the struggle," and just a few... comments.

1. Yeah, we have some opinions about a number of people we don't know, including (but not limited to) TIME's photographer, lighting person, photoshopping person, wardrobe person and WHOEVER WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR PASTING HARRY'S FACE ON TO SOMEONE ELSE'S BODY FOR GOD'S SAKE. 

It's just really upsetting. Image via TIME.  

2. Who uses the word "opine"?? Except us in Year Eight when we needed a synonym for "In my opinion"???

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3. We say this with total respect... but technically Meghan and Harry are no longer a duke OR duchess, and also, we're going to need you to specify the struggle. You're running towards. 

Anywho, back to the photo situation. Which feels more urgent. 

Yeah, we have questions. And we'd appreciate your answers if you have them. 

1. Why does Meghan look like she's standing up to her high school bully and Prince Harry is behind her being like "YEAH. WHAT SHE SAID". Is the bully... England? 

2. Why does it look like Prince Harry has just given Meghan a makeover and now he is presenting her with her own (transformed) image and she's about to say: "Wow. I love it." 

'Do you love it?!' 

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3. We cannot stress this enough. Where. On. God's. Green. Earth. Is. Harry's. Left. Leg?

Are you hanging it over the side? Sir?? 

4. Why do Meghan and Harry appear to have been social distancing from each other and then photoshopped together in the final image? You can't tell us they were on the same set when this photograph was taken?? Perhaps they fundamentally misunderstood the rules of social distancing. 

Like, it's fine if you guys are family. You're allowed to physically touch. You're sharing a toilet anyway. It wasn't necessary to shoot Meghan outdoors in natural lighting, and then Harry inside a studio under harsh studio lights and then stitch them together. The result is extremely upsetting to all viewers. 

Listen to Mamamia's daily pop culture podcast, The Spill. Post continues after audio.


5. Why is Harry's face completely... flat? It looks like a strange man wearing a mask somewhat resembling Prince Harry. That neck and that face simply do not belong in the same photograph. It has a real collage vibe to it... like the editor cut out a Harry head and stuck it to the cover of TIME with Clag glue. 

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The unsung hero of this shoot.  

6. This is more of a comment than a question but Harry's shirt looks very Steve Jobs/Silicon Valley, in that it's black cotton. But then the bracelets on his right wrist say, "I purchased these from the Roxy store in Byron Bay" and there's a lack of cohesion there that we simply must address. 

7. Is that a cardboard cut out of Meghan that Harry's holding?

8. Does Harry... carry around a cardboard cut out of Meghan wherever he goes?

9. Should he... stop that?

But. Then. There. Are. More. Photos. 

Here they are photoshopped into the jungle from Avatar:

Why are you in a magic forest. Image: Pari Dukovic for TIME.  

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The sunbeam is fake, and it looks as though there should be a cartoon deer superimposed in the background. 

And here they are two-dimensionally placed in front of a Tuscan-style window in their mansion: 

Why does it look like a fake hand? Image: Pari Dukovic for TIME.  

Look. A photographer had a strange day. 

And haven't we all? 

But this is a royal emergency.

WHAT DID U SAY.  

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And someone - anyone - needs to answer the questions the world is asking.

For more from Clare and Jessie Stephens, you can follow them on Instagram at @thetwins_thoughts, or listen to their weekly podcast, Cancelled.

Feature Image: TIME + Mamamia.

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