Getting engaged is probably the most ritualised moment in our life.

Ever since we were old enough to be read to, we’ve been force fed fantasies of the prince and the princess, one true kiss, a fairytale wedding and the happily ever after. For a whole host of reasons, this is absolute bullshit. But that’s another article...

For the sake of this one, I shall simply say that the archaic customs surrounding the concept of ‘the ring’ do not accurately reflect the egalitarian nature of modern relationships.

Let me explain.

You’ve probably heard of the ‘three month rule’, yes? I can scarcely believe it as I write it, but some people hold the belief that an appropriate engagement ring should cost a whole ass QUARTER of their partner’s annual pay. I mean, in this economic climate?

If I was forced to make a list of all the things I’d happily sacrifice such a huge wad of cash for, a poxy old ring would not be it. But that’s just me.

Watch how this man hid an engagement ring inside a necklace he gave his girlfriend for months. Post continues after video.

This stupid rule probably comes from a time when it was illegal for women to work, speak or think and a man was expected to take care of them like prized breeding stock.

Being able to drop a casual three months’ sal on a sparkly symbol of ownership was most likely to demonstrate he was capable of buying her lots of prescription amphetamines and pink ovens, or whatever else the men publishing the magazines told them that they wanted.

These days we are absolute queens with careers, voting rights and air fryers! All we need men to ‘provide’ is a PowerPoint presentation on why we should continue to put up with them instead of just living our best lives in a commune. (Kidding! Kind of).

Now, let’s talk about the greatest marketing campaign in history. Diamonds.

While the British were very busy pillaging South Africa’s mines, scooping sparklers from the Earth by the actual tonne, one particular businessman came to the astute conclusion that diamonds actually held very little value.

Diamonds were so abundant, and the market so awash, that they faced the very real risk of being demoted to semi-precious stones at best, which obviously was v. bad for business. So was born the crafty idea to control supply in order to push the false narrative that diamonds were ‘rare’ and subsequently ‘valuable’.Hellooooo,exorbitant pricing.

Next, these essentially worthless stones were cleverly rebranded as the ultimate symbol of undying love.‘Diamonds are Forever’, they cried. Except, they actually decay faster than most rocks. But it worked, and to this day people continue to lay down hella coin on solitaires with “cut, colour, clarity and carat” thinking it’s an investment, then wonder why they can’t sell it when they call quits nine years later.

I’m not some disillusioned thirty-something divorcee. (I’m quite cheerful about it, actually!). I just think the patriarchal and consumerist nature of a big diamond ring upon proposal is the antithesis to the idea of an independent woman. I’m not boycotting engagement rings, either. I’m all for a good jewel.

I just want to empower women to say “to hell with tradition!” and start choosing and rocking ethical, unconventional rings that suit their style and budget. After all, about 50 per cent of you will be wearing it for the rest of your life.

So as someone who is utterly obsessed with jewellery, here are my top 9 non-traditional engagement rings that give all the joy, with way less of the capitalism.

1. Initial Shield Rings by Stash Jewellery - Mini, $380, and OG, $450.

Romance, but make it rock 'n’ roll. I’m sorry but if my (hypothetical) future husband doesn’t want matching, hand-engraved initial rings, then frankly, I don’t want him.

These are by Stash (aka Tash Adams) who you may have seen at Bondi Markets slinging her badass, handmade designs. These custom made initial rings can be made to order in silver or gold, and given a personal touch with bespoke engraving that reflects you and your lover's story.

2. The Secret Compartment Vintage Emerald Green Spinel Ring, $595.

Who wouldn’t absolutely DIE for a stunning emerald? Except this is a Spinel, an alternative green stone that looks just like one but is way more affordable. I bought a ring from Sarah recently to celebrate a milestone, and should probably stop following her on Instagram because she may send me broke.

Based on the Gold Coast, she’s an expert in beautiful vintage cocktail rings which she sees as representing freedom, choice and a strong sense of self. Love that, and love supporting a small, Aussie female-owned business.

(This is the ring I bought here!)