weddings

23 women on getting engaged months after meeting, and if it was a good idea.

First comes love, then comes marriage – sometimes in very quick succession. Just ask any couple who has gotten engaged at the speed of light.

Sometimes, we like to skirt the traditional 'rules' that have been placed upon us when it comes to dating, and most of the time... it works out in our favour.

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But to see what the real-life impacts of getting engaged shortly after meeting 'the one' are, we asked our Mamamia community to share their stories about putting a ring on it – and to tell us whether that same ring is still on their finger.

Here's what they had to say.

Amanda, 37.

How did we meet? We matched on Bumble. 

When did we get engaged?  Eight months in.

What happened? Happily married for five months now and trying to start our family! We had to postpone our wedding twice due to COVID, but it was worth the wait! I think when you know, ‘you know’. We have similar values and goals and everything was easy from the beginning. When you find your person, don’t doubt yourself and if a quick engagement is what you want, then go for it! 

Jayne, 40.

"He still makes me laugh and scrunch up my nose." Image via Jayne.

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How did we meet? When I met my husband, we instantly clicked. We became friends quickly, but I didn’t realise the other girl who was always around his group of friends was actually his girlfriend. They eventually broke up, we became even better friends, but we weren’t dating – yet.

When did we get engaged? I remember he was at my house one day and he was acting strange, I asked him what was wrong. He said, “I’m confused about how I feel about you.” Inside I did a big happy dance, but we actually just talked about what it would mean if we got together. We didn’t want to ruin a good friendship if it was just a fling. We were officially together only about three or four months before we got engaged and we got married six months after that!

What happened? The people closest to us were pleased, our parents included, and we valued their opinion because they know us well. I have never had a doubt that we’re meant to be together. We have just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary and we still love hanging out with each other – and now with our kids too!

"We have just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary." Image via Jayne.

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Even though getting married pretty quickly worked out well for us, I probably wouldn’t recommend it as a norm! We knew each other and were friends before we actually got together. 

Belinda, 46 

How did we meet? He was a friend of an ex-partner.

When did we get engaged? Six months in.

What happened? We've been married for 16 years! My mum always used to say 'when you know, you know', which used to drive me crazy. I always thought they were 'the one' otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered! Turns out, she was right. I just knew. I'd had a few long-term relationships before (one for seven years) that were heading towards marriage, but I just couldn't see them being forever. 

In retrospect, I possibly would have liked another year with just him and I before we had our children – as they came nine months after our wedding day!

Tanya, 31.    

How did we meet? We met on Tinder and both said we were looking for a relationship and not just a hookup. We spoke over text and calls for about six weeks before going on a date.

When did we get engaged? From officially being together, it was a year and two weeks, but from the very first message, it was 14 months. 

What happened? Married and happily making our life goals happen. Make sure you really know your partner, have lived with them for a decent amount of time, and that they see you at your worst. For example, when you are sick, unemployed, with financial struggles and family drama.

Andrea, 35.

How did we meet? We met on Bumble in August 2018 and he was the only guy I went out with in my one week of online dating! At the time we met, he was working FIFO on a four-weeks away, one-week at-home roster. We had three dates in that first week that he was home, and then we spoke every day of the four weeks he was away. We saw each other the night he got home and spent every possible minute together from then. 

When did we get engaged? We were officially a couple within a few days, and were engaged six months later! 

What happened? We got engaged in early 2019 and were due to be married March 2020. COVID restrictions came in a few days before our wedding, so unfortunately we had to postpone. Luckily we were able to get married in Sept 2020! COVID wasn’t done with us though, and my husband got stuck in NSW for 5 months in 2021 due to border closures. He finally was allowed home, and we have done two weeks quarantine at home… oh, and our first baby is due in a few weeks!

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When you know, you know! Is it a cliché? Maybe. But it’s true! 

If you want to be together and want to be married, just do it. I also think being slightly older makes it easier; you know what you’re looking for and it’s so clear when you find it. It didn’t feel quick at all for us, it just felt right! We knew we were on the same page about everything, so there was never a doubt.

Lisa, 29.

How did we meet? We met on Tinder the day my husband moved to Sydney from the country for his work. He never planned on staying in Sydney but moved in with me five months in.   

When did we get engaged? 11 months in. 

What happened? We stayed in Sydney and we were engaged for a year and a bit (thanks COVID). We were married for two years and now have a three-month-old baby girl. When you know, you know! Do it, by comparison, I know others who waited for ages to get engaged, and it still didn’t last as long as our marriage has already. 

Sarah, 38.

How did we meet? We met on RSVP back when internet dating was still considered kind of pathetic. 

When did we get engaged? We decided to take our dogs to the same park so that, if we hit it off, we could tell people that's how we met. Our first date lasted 17 hours. We got engaged 28 days later.  

What happened? We've been happily married 12 years later and now have two kids. Getting engaged quickly isn't easy, though. People aren't thrilled for you. You don't get the same celebrations as everyone else. You get a lot of judgement and doubt and 'what the hell are they thinking?'. But if the only reason to delay your commitment to each other is so that other people can be more comfortable with your choice, then it's a no-brainer. It's your life. And life is too short.

Tanja, 52.

"We were set up by mutual friend." Image via Tanja.

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How did we meet? We were set up by a mutual friend after they saw him walk into a party wearing a g-string and a cowboy hat on a dare.

When did we get engaged? Three months in.  

What happened? We've been married for 24 years and share three incredible sons. My advice is not to listen to the naysayers – no one can make the decision other than you. Be realistic in your expectations of marriage and ensure you have excellent communication with your partner, always.

Veronica, 30.

How did we meet? I met my husband in Nice, France. We were both solo backpackers. We went sailing that day and instantly clicked. By day two, I remember thinking, 'this is my person'. Basically, we have been together ever since. 

When did we get engaged? After we travelled together through Europe, we stayed in contact every day. He visited me in Australia five months after we met and surprised me with a proposal.     

What happened? Seven years later, we are happily married, living in the United States with our one-year-old son. 

Ask yourself, 'is it a trend for me to fall in love quickly?' If it is, then you might need to question the legitimacy of your feelings/choice. For both my husband and I, this wasn’t a trend. I wasn’t someone who had ever actually wanted to get married at all, but then I met him.

Renee, 26.

Renee and her partner. Image: Supplied.

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How did we meet? We met while travelling. I had planned my trip to Germany many months in advance... while he booked it on a whim. We ended up on the same tour to Neuschwanstein Castle (it’s bloody gorgeous) and we spent the day together. He’s American, so after that day, we communicated via Instagram for 6 months until his first visit to Australia, which was when we started dating.

When did we get engaged? He came to Australia in January 2019 for a week, then I went to America to see him in June 2019 – which is when we got engaged! In short, that was nine months of knowing each other.  

What happened? We now live together in America. I moved to Canada in 2019 because it was easier to get a visa, but then I got stuck there during the pandemic. We had planned to travel between Vancouver and Seattle, but our plans were wiped out completely. 

He managed to cross the border the day before it closed, and we got married in May 2020. He had to return to the states at the end of June, and we didn’t see each other in person again until August 2021. I FINALLY got a US green card and moved to the states just before Christmas! 

We have just bought our first home. I am working a new job here, and we are loving our life together with our pup and cat! 

My advice to other people is that there will be those that 100 per cent judge you and your relationship. I think the most important part for me has been maintaining my independence – that means time and space for things that are "just me". Sometimes that killed the honey-moon-can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other vibes, but it also helped me to know that even though our relationship and engagement came quickly, I didn’t have to lose a part of myself to the process. It’s not an easy process, but I wouldn’t change a thing about our love story.

Susan, 55.

How did we meet? He was the guest of my flatmate. He came for dinner. I wasn’t meant to be home. I was supposed to be at TAFE, but I took the night off and went home instead.  

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When did we get engaged? Three weeks in.

What happened? We've been together for 31 years and share four children. My explanation is simple: If you know, you know!

Astrid, 35.

How did we meet? We met at church. We were both youth leaders. 

When did we get engaged? Six weeks in. We had known each other for about nine months prior though.

What happened? We married in our early 20s, lasted five years, and were divorced by 30. My ex-husband left me for a man who was a pastor at our church. They met and things very quickly unravelled...

My ex-husband had serious reasons for why he wanted to 'lock' me down quickly. In Christian churches, it’s so normal for people to get married young and fast. I didn’t really know any better.

Serena, 27.

"After a few beers once, I told his dad I was gonna marry his son one day!" Image via Serena.

How did we meet? I was working in a bar. He would come in most days for post-work beers with his dad. We clicked, but he had a girlfriend at the time. Occasionally, I’d give them a lift home. 

Then I started staying for beers and drunk feeds. We had a few nights where I had too many to drink and I stayed over, but he was always super respectful of me and his current relationship. After a few beers once, I told his dad I was gonna marry his son one day!

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I moved away to a new city a few months later. We stayed very close friends, and he broke up with his girlfriend.

When did we get engaged? A year later, he visited my city for work and we caught up. That’s when we decided that we were going to go for it and try long-distance... Five months later of long-distance dating, we moved in together and got engaged. 

What happened? We are now still engaged, but currently prioritise buying a house instead of planning a wedding. 

People will judge you for getting engaged quickly (even your best friend), but if you love that person and you feel certain you can tolerate their annoyingly long showers every morning, their neurotic obsession with keeping their car clean, them leaving their clothes everywhere for the next 50 years, go for gold!

Tania, 54.

How did we meet? Through good friends who had also just started dating. We met at a nightclub he managed.

When did we get engaged? We got engaged eight weeks after meeting.

What happened? We married 12 months later, then had babies about a year after that. We are now happily married - to other people! But in all seriousness, we separated after five years, and remain good friends.

Denise, 55.

How did we meet? I met my partner at a Melbourne nightclub. He offered to buy me a drink and told me a joke that I found hilarious. 

When did we get engaged? Eight months in. 

What happened? We have been married for nearly 27 years. In my experience, if you know, you know. Trust your gut.

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Kandi, 26.

How did we meet? I met my husband on Tinder. I had never had a serious boyfriend before and my best friend was seeing a guy she was obsessed with. I no longer had someone to go out to dinner with or catch a movie with whenever I wanted to, so I jumped on Tinder. I never ever replied to anyone's messages, but while going home from work one day, I just randomly replied to everyone who messaged me and one of them was my husband! 

We went to dinner and a movie. The rest just fell into place. 

When did we get engaged? We got engaged on the 12-month anniversary of our first date.    

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What happened? We're married (for two years), homeowners, dog parents and trying for a baby. We met September 1st, got engaged a year later on September 1st and married one year later on September 1st!

Sam, 39.

How did we meet? On Bumble. We started talking on December 28, 2018, met January 13, 2019 moved in together three months later. 

When did we get engaged? We got engaged January 5, 2020 in Vietnam! We got married the same year despite many COVID lockdowns and had an amazing wedding day on November 1, 2020. 

What happened? We live happily married together in Perth. We have both been divorced, are a little older and know how hard marriage can be. We both wanted to find our person, and we were so lucky that we did after heartbreak. I feel we went through the hard times to meet each other and it was definitely worth it.

Orla, 39.

"He moved to the US for a new opportunity and I moved to London after a bad breakup." Image via Orla.

How did we meet? We worked together in Ireland briefly, but at that time we both had different partners, so we were just friendly. He moved to the US for a new opportunity and I moved to London after a bad breakup. A year later, I was heading to Australia on a working holiday and I heard he was in Sydney. When I arrived, I messaged him on FB and it turned out we were both staying in the same suburb. We met up for drinks during my first week here and I invited him to my friend’s birthday that weekend. 

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We hooked up at the party and I ended up moving in with him a few months later. I got a job in Sydney and when I was due to go back to Ireland that Christmas after my nine months, he flew back with me and had the chat with my dad about his intentions. 

When did we get engaged? We returned to Sydney after Christmas, got engaged, and were married a year later in Ireland. 

What happened? We will be married 10 years next April and we have two kids. 

Ains, 39.

How did we meet? We were next-door neighbours! My apartment flooded, and he came to my rescue. I had broken up with my ex the night before and he had just started seeing someone, so we were friends for nearly a year before we started dating. 

When did we get engaged? Almost seven months in and then married on our one-year engagement anniversary!! 

What happened? We’ve been married for over 10 years. We have two wonderful children and have had lots of life adventures together and as a family. 

We didn’t have the “usual” growth period where you’d get to know each other, so we navigated a lot of the learning once married. That was challenging and if we’d still been dating, we possibly would have parted ways. Having been married, we were compelled to work hard to get through the challenging times.

Jenny, 59.

How did we meet? Matchmakers ball – we were matched! I went along with girlfriends to get my money's worth with the all-you-can-drink deal and ended up with a husband.     

When did we get engaged? Six months in and we got married 12 months after that.

What happened? We celebrated 33 years of marriage in March. We have three grown-up kids. I think it’s all about timing and where you are in your life. We had lots in common and the same values and wanted the same things in life. It can work and last! 

Lisa, 52.

"I noticed a very handsome guy at the party." Image via Lisa.

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How did we meet? I attended my male cousin's engagement party and noticed a very handsome guy at the party. He turned out to be the bride's brother. The engagement party finished at 5pm but I stayed till 1am talking with this handsome man! He made plans to take me out the next night. 

When did we get engaged? Eight weeks in. 

What happened? We have been very happily married for 28 years. We have a 25-year-old son and a 23-year-old daughter. My advice is to trust your instincts and trust your gut. If it feels right, it will be!

"We have been very happily married for 28 years." Image via Lisa.

Jo, 52.

How did we meet? I met my gorgeous husband at the entrance to a nightclub. To get around liquor licensing laws at the time, the nightclub handed out one piece of pizza to each person entering. I was starving and managed to get two pieces. He saw that and asked for a bite of mine. I said 'no' and right there, he learnt not to come between me and my food. He should've run!  

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We ended up chatting until my girlfriend mumbled in my ear that he was a rugby league player, which at the time was a huge turnoff for me.

I then asked if he played rugby league, and he asked me if it mattered. I told him that it absolutely does, and he responded with, "nope! I play croquet," with a gorgeous, cheeky smile. In that moment, he had me, and he still does. 

When did we get engaged? 10 months in.

What happened? We've been laughing for almost 30 years together. If you truly believe your partner is the one, and they are both your hottest fantasy and your best friend, go for it! 

Jacqui, 39.

How did we meet? We met at a bar. There was hardly anyone there, but my friends and I decided to stay for a few cocktails anyway. We got chatting to the training manager who was teaching a new bartender how to make cocktails. He kept bringing them over for us to try to then each time, he would stay a little longer to chat with us. 

As the evening went on, I realised I had barely spoken to anyone except him for all those hours! The rest, as they say, is history. 

When did we get engaged? On our third date, he told me we would get married one day. Normally I would think that was crazy and run for the hills, but it just seemed so right! We moved in together after six weeks! He introduced me to everyone as his fiancée after only a few months of dating.

What happened? We've been married for 10 years with three kiddos. We are the best of friends. Being engaged or married didn’t make our relationship what it is. We worked on us and our bond, so I think that’s the real key.

Siti, 34.

How did we meet? At work! I moved to Melbourne from Perth in 2018 after some life-changing events. I lost my first husband in 2009 and become a very young widow. I decided to move to Melbourne and start a new life for myself. I met my now-husband 11 months later. We are inseparable.

When did we get engaged? We got engaged five months in and married seven months after that. 

What happened? We now have a beautiful 18-month-old daughter, and we’ve since moved back to Perth. While 'Part Two' of my life hasn’t always been easy, moving to Melbourne was the best decision I've ever made!

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