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We need to talk about Emily Blunt's 'vagina dress' at the SAG awards.

Every now and then, an innocent woman arrives at an awards night, and somehow triggers a heated debate over the very definition of the word ‘vagina’.

It is a cultural phenomenon our ancestors would not be proud of.

But alas, here we are.

This time it was Mary Poppins Emily Blunt, best known for her roles in The Girl on The Train and A Quiet Place.

Watch the trailer for A Quiet Place. Post continues below…

Video by Paramount Pictures

The 35-year-old was wearing a full length pink gown, with frills over the shoulders, and was quickly accused of drawing her inspiration from a labia majora.

emily blunt dress
Emily Blunt's lovely dress. Image via Getty.

"All I see is a pink sparkly dress!" some protested.

But, guys, imagine her head is a clitoris.

blunt-dress
SEE.
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Both Huffington Post and News Corp quickly published headlines about how Blunt's "vagina dress" had people "in a tizzy", which only put more people in a tizzy because IT'S A VULVA NOT A VAGINA.

To wear a dress that looked like a vagina would be near impossible as it is a "muscular tube" with external genitals on one end, and a cervix on the other. In fact, to properly represent the vagina, you would need to also include a large rectum around the back, and a bladder at the front, perhaps with urine in it, with ovary earrings and a womb hat.

It would be absurd.

I drew a picture to prove my point.

This took me longer than I'd care to admit.

Thus, Blunt did not wear a vagina dress to the SAG awards.

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And according to my calculations, these were also not vagina dresses.

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Not a vagina dress. Sylvia Jeffreys, image via Getty.
edwina vagina dress
Edwina Bartholomew not wearing a vagina dress. Image via Getty.

They are vulva dresses.

And we like them very much.

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