ASK CHANTELLE: My partner keeps talking about 'eating ass'. What do I need to know?

Mamamia's Ask Chantelle series is a pervy Q&A session with Psycho-Sexologist Chantelle Otten. Think about all the sex questions you've wanted answers for, but have been too shy to ask. Nothing is too embarrassing, kinky or wild for Chantelle. Honestly, we've all probably wondered the same thing too. This week, one woman wants to know everything there is to know about eating ass. And, if you have a sex question you want answered, email with Ask Chantelle in the subject line.

My partner keeps talking to me about ‘eating ass’. What do I need to know?

While the idea of turning our partner's ass into a tasty snack isn’t for everyone, it’s definitely something to try before ruling it out - only if you want to, of course!

For a lot of people, the taboo nature of anal play can be what stops the exploration, but actually that taboo nature is what makes it so erotic. We’ve all heard that we want what we can’t (or shouldn’t) have, so when society says, "No butt stuff" we want it even more! 

How to have better sex. Post continues below.

Video via Mamamia

While eating ass isn’t exactly a dinner table conversation (though it has been known to come up at a few of my dinner parties!) there is nothing wrong with wanting to give it a go. More people than you think are enjoying some oral anal stimulation, so if you’re nervous about bringing it up with a partner or your partner has brough it up with you, consider these questions. 


Why is the idea erotic? What about it makes you hot? Questions like this can help you understand each other's desire. 

Now while there is nothing wrong with eating ass there are some preparation steps that should be taken before grabbing a napkin and jumping in. Firstly, make sure everyone’s nice and clean, and has taken a shower or bath beforehand. 

You could always include this in your foreplay, but knowing what's planned means we do need a good clean (not just suds on our sexier bits). If you’ve recently eaten some spicy food, or you’re feeling like there are some stomach/digestive issues happening, maybe tonight isn’t the night. Better to save it for a time when you can fully relax into the sensations and not worry about your lunchtime burrito ruining the fun.

If we’re still worried about hygiene stuff we can always use a dental dam over the anus to allow amazing sensations without direct mouth on ass contact. If you don’t have a dental dam, you can always grab a handy condom and cut it down one side, so the condom opens up as one piece. Just lay it gently over the top of your partner's anus and proceed to enjoy your snack! 

We could also add some flavoured lube to the party, not only will this make for a fun taste for the eater, but it will also help an anal penetration that may occur. 


The top tip for eating ass is just to have fun with it! Sex is supposed to be fun and erotic and exciting for everyone. It doesn’t have to be perfect, sometimes things slip or someone laughs and that's okay! 

When we try new things they often take a few tries to get them right and it’s okay to be vocal about what is and isn’t working for you. As long as we are staying open to erotic possibilities, we are very likely to be enjoying some pretty great sex.

Sometimes we need to get out of our heads to enjoy the pleasure our body is feeling! 

Feature image: Instagram/@chantelle_otten_sexologist

Read more of Ask Chantelle:

Chantelle Otten is Australia’s leading Psycho-Sexologist who is passionate about empowering people to feel great about their sexual health, self-esteem, communication and education. With a background in scientific research, sexual medicine, and counselling, she believes that sexuality and self-esteem are an integral part of life, which everyone is entitled to. Good sexual health should always be enjoyable, pain free and without prejudice.

Chantelle is the director of the Australian Institute of Sexology and Sexual Medicine, where she and her team of sexologists work to positively change the sexual lives of the Australian’s, also using her social media to spread sexual empowerment to all. You can find her on Instagram here.