I feel sorry for Davina. This admission has been met with audible gasps of shock, horror and outrage from my girlfriends at our weekly Married At First Sight dinner, but I am prepared to stand by it.
Let me start by telling you why I don’t feel sorry for Davina. I don’t feel sorry for her because Dean unceremoniously broke his “pinkie swear” at the commitment ceremony, leaving her looking more than a little foolish (I am sure she now realises being dumped by Dean was actually a blessing). Nor did she elicit any sympathy from me when Ryan left her crying on the beach, muttering “f*ck Dean” while walking away from her without a backward glance – in fact I clapped my hands with glee while watching this play out. I don’t feel sorry for her because Tracey nailed her Thursday night with possibly the most class I have ever seen in a reality show confrontation.
I am not friends with Davina. I have never met her in my life, and I don’t really think we would have much in common if we did meet. I don’t think she has been painted as a particularly likeable character during this voyage of MAFS (I say character because we all need to remember this is what these people are – characters at the mercy of reality TV producers, who may or may not be misrepresenting people and situations so that people like me become disproportionately attached to the 7.30pm timeslot).
I don’t think that Davina has done the right thing by Ryan, nor does she deserve the second chance she is so desperately trying to convince him to give her. Ryan deserves better than someone ready to throw him in for a different model, there is no denying that.
Clare and Jessie Stephens recap every tiny detail from Married at First Sight. Post continues after audio.
I feel sorry for Davina because she is being bullied, shamed and judged by the entire country, while the only real judgement Dean is seeming to face from the public is for his questionable double life as a talentless rapper (VISIONZ anyone? Ugh, NO). I feel sorry for Davina because she is being called a “home wrecker” and a “cheating bride” in every second online and print article, despite the fact that neither her nor Dean are actually REALLY MARRIED and ipso-facto she isn’t actually “cheating” or “ruining a home”.
Sorry for ruining the fun, but these couples have only known each other three weeks. Who hasn’t dated someone for three weeks, and then decided they might not be The One? Most people – but most people don’t do it on TV.
I feel sorry for Davina because she was asked by the “experts” (who, by the way, don’t seem to have done such a great job given the course of events) to justify her behaviour to the other couples and to all of us at home. Last Sunday, “expert” John demanded of her, “Davina, if what if you have done is acceptable, then why is everyone so outraged by you?” while she was visibly awkward on the couch. This was about five minutes after this same “expert” told the other “outraged” couples to shut up and let Dean plead his case to Tracey in private.
Why wasn’t Davina given this courtesy? Is it me, or are even the “experts” placing more guilt on her doorstep? At least the other couples are holding Dean accountable (LOVE them).
“Experts”, and Australia, are you all confused? Have Nasser, Telv, Sarah and I been the only people paying full attention? Dean was sending the texts to Davina. Dean was just as involved in the secret drinking and displeasing neck nuzzling as Davina. Dean is just as ‘married’ as Davina.
Sheesh, at least Davina was telling the truth about the ‘secret’ conversations when she asked “can I cut in here”. DEAN DIDN’T EVEN DO THAT – he claimed he said he wanted to give Tracey a chance, but all I heard him say was that her looks are “not the best quality.” Dean is now even trying to blame RYAN! Yet overwhelming public opinion remains Davina should be burned at the stake, while Dean is mostly absent from headlines.
In case you haven’t picked up what I am putting down, I don’t feel sorry for Davina because she is about to be divorced at second sight, I feel sorry for Davina because she is being judged by her gender rather than her actions.
The outrage surrounding her far outshines any public opinion of Dean (who should, if anything, be judged more harshly for all the reasons listed above) with no perceivable difference other than that she is female and he is male.
Don’t believe me? Dean is out doing radio shows and TV appearances, brushing over his indiscretions, while Davina has been forced underground to avoid the bullies.
So please, before you jump on the bandwagon of bashing Davina, have a think about why it is seemingly okay to place blame squarely on her doorstep. People have strong feelings about infidelity – I get that. People have every right to judge if they see fit. But why is the judgement skewed by gender?
I am happy to go against the grain – I feel sorry for her. I guarantee she wouldn’t be treated half as badly if she was a male, and that makes me feel sorry for all of us.
Rebecca always wanted to be a writer when she grew up – she likes to tell a good story. When she isn’t spinning a yarn, she is moving around the states of Australia and chasing all the feels.