baby

"I am resentful." Constance Hall on how her relationship has changed since having a baby.

She’s known for her refreshing honesty and calling it like she sees it, and now Constance Hall has shared the reality of how her relationship has changed after having a baby.

The Australian writer and businesswoman posted a photo of herself breastfeeding her youngest son Raja on Facebook, as she opened up about her struggles with motherhood, questioning why men view their wives as “ball and chains” as soon as their baby is born.

The 35-year-old began by observing that many of her 1.2 million followers on Facebook view her marriage to husband Denim Cooke as “couple goals” before admitting, “The truth is that having a baby has pushed my relationship to the absolute edge.”

“I can handle upping my work load. I really can,” she shared. “But what I can’t handle is the unjust, unfair living arrangements that so commonly follow the birth of a baby.”

The mother-of-seven went on to call out the “system that greatly benefits one gender while driving the other insane”, revealing her own experiences of feeling lonely and resentful towards her husband after the birth of Raja.

“Coming somewhere with me became a chore, holding the baby, a favour,” she wrote, adding that the couple went from “inseparable” to spending two trips apart during Christmas.

“I am resentful. After doing so many loads of washing the other morning while his highness slept in for the 340th time this year I flooded the bathroom, mopped for half an hour, put the baby down, made some eggs, walked past the wet patch and slipped, smashing my plate and my knees.”

“I just lay there, covered in washing machine water, furiously crying,” she said.

“So f**king angry with where motherhood/wifehood has taken me.”

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Constance says her post should not be viewed as “man bashing” – she knows that Denim and her still have a loving relationship and can and will grow from this – instead, it’s a call for equality between men and women when it comes to parenting.

“Is this what equality looks like?” she asked, “You have a baby and you become insect repellent to husbands?”

“Women are now allowed to work for a sh*ttier wage and then come home and still squeeze in all the work we had to do in the 50s? Breast feed the baby and cook and would you like a free f**king blow job with all of that entitlement sir?” she added.

“So thank you for giving me some superficial gratification when telling me that we are couple goals but in the spirit of honesty, having a baby is one thing, sharing that baby is a completely different story.”

Constance is mum to Billie-Violet, Arlo-Love, twins Rumi and Snow – from her first marriage – and Raja, and stepkids Zeyke and Sunny with her husband Denim.

Constance Hall speaks to Mia Freedman on Mamamia’s No Filter. 

Video by MMC
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