"You were really bad at sex." We asked 40 women what they'd say, anonymously, to their ex.

This post deals with domestic violence, and may be triggering for some readers.

Mamamia's Confessions series asks women to share what they'd say to the people closest to them, if they could do so anonymously. What would you tell your parents? Your manager? Your partner? It could be a secret you've been holding onto for years, or something that's on your mind right now. Nothing is off-limits. 

This week, we asked 50 women the one thing they'd say to their ex anonymously. Here's what they told us.

Moving on.

"You're a coward and didn't deserve me. Thanks for removing yourself from my life."

"You taught me so much, none of it good. You are the reason that I am sober."

"Thank you for cheating. I needed an out. My life only got better from the moment you weren't in it."

"I forgive you but I won’t forget. You taught me how abuse can be sickly sweet affection just as much as it can be dark and physical. Never again. I've learnt so much. Thank you."

Watch: Mamamia employees confess things their partners don't know. Post continues after video.

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"It was some of the best years of my life, thank you."

"You were really bad at sex. I'm glad I got to find that out."

"Thank god you're not in my life."

"It took a while to realise but my life is so much better without you in it."

"I want to hate you because you caused me all that pain and heartache when you left. But actually, how lucky am I to have had something that made saying goodbye so hard?!"

Toxic relationships.

"You broke me like no other; you are a coward."

"You never deserved the love and respect I gave. I wish I had invested that love and respect into myself."

"You will never know how much you hurt me."

"You have made me afraid of men and I have to live with what you did to me every day."


"To this day, you have no idea how toxic you were and how you broke me. But you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

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"You took away five years of my life, my self-esteem and my self-worth. You told me you loved me so I stayed, but that's not how you treat someone you love. You knew I would do anything for you and you used that to your advantage. I hope you look back to those days and realise how much you f**ked with me. But a part of me thanks you, as you have made me the person I am today. No way will I ever let anyone in the future treat me how you treated me! Because of you, I have learnt the signs of DV."

"You gaslit me and now I have lost trust in men."

"You took away all confidence I had. I've struggled to regain it seven years on."

"You caused all my mental health issues, made me think my body was disfigured, and took all my control away."

"You really f**ked me up, the mental scars still wear me down every day."

"You're not even half the man you think you are."

Children and family.

"You missed out on seeing your daughter grow into a beautiful, successful woman, and having a wife who adores you. All so you could live like an 18-year-old forever!"

"Your mum broke us."

"You're a narcissistic, controlling, egotistical prick, and sadly, the kids have worked it out for themselves now too. It's so disappointing for them that you’ll just never get it."


"There is no way back into my family. We are all done with you, so stop trying."

"Your baby mother was f**king my cousin."

"As I approach the age that you were when we met all those years ago, I can't even begin to think of how you thought that our relationship and later, our marriage, was appropriate. I was a teenager; legal, but a teenager all the same. You were an a**hole... I can only hope our children learn who NOT to be from you."

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"Why bother having a child with me, knowing you were gay and struggling, then to turn to drugs and abandon your son? How do I explain to him he was meant to be?"

"I hate you for putting me through hell. I hate you for putting my family through hell. I hate you for making me feel less of myself. And I hate that you just get to go on in life never second-guessing your actions."

"Why was alcohol more important than us? Why couldn't you see that by choosing alcohol every time you would lose us as a family? You lost us, but we still loved you dearly. Then alcohol killed you because you drove drunk, again. You lost, we lost. And now I raise five amazing teenagers on my own. It’s heartbreaking every day. You lost us and then we ultimately lost you forever. I wish you could've chosen us. We were worth it."

Still in love.

"I still love you, I just wish we wanted the same things."

"It will always be you."

"I wish you had chosen me instead of her."

"I think of you often and will always love you. I hope you're happy... I am."


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"I'm scared I will never love anyone the way I loved you."

"When I left, it wasn't because I stopped loving you. I just wanted to stop hurting you."

"I have never stopped loving you."


"I'm so deeply sorry. I regret my actions and to this day it’s my biggest regret."

"I hated who I was when I was with you. I loved you but I didn’t love myself. I lost who I was in our relationship. I lost my voice, my spark, and my ambitions trying to mould myself into who I thought you wanted me to be. I never meant to hurt you like I did. It took me months to build the courage to leave, one day to remove myself from our life together, and years to understand why."

"I never told you I was in love with you. You were just comfortable to me. I thought you would be the nice guy I needed and I am so sorry I put you through that for two years only to break your heart from overseas."

"I'm sorry."

"After we couldn't live together and broke up, why did we buy a house thinking it would work again? What a waste of time, money and energy renovating it mid-breakup."

Do you have any confessions of your own to add? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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