'My friend said my son could come to her wedding. A few months before I got a message.'

Child-free weddings are far from unusual.

There is alcohol, dancing, and best men dropping their dacks to Eagle Rock.

Many brides and grooms decide it is… not somewhere they want children.

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But for one bridesmaid, a grey area has left her in a very compromising position.

After the bride told her bridesmaid (and best friend) her two-year-old son could attend the destination wedding, she booked the flights and accommodation for the family of three, and took time off work.

Then the bridesmaid backflipped on her decision.

Writing about the experience on Mumsnet, the bridesmaid explained that she had already paid for the entire trip, and didn’t have a support system to leave her child with.

“In January my best friend invited us to her wedding which is taking place in July, in another country. She asked me to be a bridesmaid. The wedding invite stated “no children” and when I queried this she said they were having an adults only wedding – except obviously their own children would be there (1&3),” she wrote.


Given the bridesmaid didn’t have a support system to care for her son, the bride initially said he could come.

“She told me that as I am a bridesmaid, my son (2) could come, and she also knows I have no childcare options (dad too old and sick, no parents on husband’s side),” she wrote.

“Great, all sounds good and I say I would love to be a bridesmaid. My husband and I book the time off work, the accommodation and the transport. Everything is now paid for,” she added.

Three months before the wedding, the bride backflipped.

“Today she has told me that my son can no longer come with us as they have decided it really is adults only and they don’t want the stress of children. She suggested I come alone and leave my husband at home with our son…

“I understand that it is her wedding, and therefore her rules. After all, they have paid for it. But to say yes and then change your mind? When everything is already booked?” she wrote, asking other forum users whether she was being unreasonable.

The responses were very sympathetic.

“I’d tell her to stuff her wedding and use it as a holiday with [your husband and son]”, wrote one user.

“It’s really sh*t of the bride to change her mind when everything is bought and paid for,” wrote another.

Others suggested the bridesmaid seek compensation.

What would you do in this situation? Tell us in the comments.