The birth of Chezzi and Grant Denyer’s eldest daughter Sailor in May 2011 did not go as planned.
In fact, the experience was so traumatic for the now mum-of-two that she later suffered post-natal anxiety.
A combination of her daughter’s large head and her turning into an awkward and painful position resulted in a long, drawn-out labour.
“I was really reluctant to have a caesarean. At all costs, I did not want a caesarean,” she told Mamamia. “I had quite a comprehensive birth plan. Nothing on my birth plan went to plan.”
Does the perfect image of motherhood cause postnatal depression? According to the Australian Medical Association, yes. Post continues.
Eventually, with Sailor in fetal stress, Chezzi went in for an emergency c-section, but by this stage, she had become so distressed and exhausted by the situation and the intense pain, that she experienced dissociation.
“Basically when she was being pulled out I saw myself on the bed from the roof. It sounds really bizarre but I basically removed myself from my body to cope.”
Thankfully, Sailor, now almost seven and big sister to two-year-old Scout, was healthy. But what Chezzi says she didn’t realise at the time was that the birth had left her traumatised. Bouts of mastitis causing trouble breastfeeding and bonding with her daughter, as well as her fear she wasn’t good enough as a mother, also contributed to her anxiety.
Yet with none of her friends or family having experienced such a difficult birth or first few weeks, she had nothing to relate her own experience to and no one to suggest that she may need counselling or help.
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I also had a traumatic birth experience that left me shaken to the core. I too was able to pass the post natal depression test even though something was obviously wrong. I ended up being sent to a psychiatrist for assessment and in the end he said I was highly anxious - and that was it! There was no treatment plan or any other support further to that. I ended up sourcing out a psychologist who dealt with meditation and hypnotherapy to try and bring my body and brain back into the status quo. It was extremely expensive and I could only afford a handful of sessions, which thankfully worked. Even then, it took a full eight months after the baby was born to feel like I could breath again. Up until that point it felt as though someone had their hand through my chest and was squeezing my heart, and I cried at the drop of a hat. Looking back now I honestly believe I was (and am) suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome and the anxiety was so high I was non functioning.
This is the first time I have ever heard someone else say they had post natal anxiety. I can’t believe it has taken nearly 13 years to hear it from someone else. Up until this time I thought it was just me and ever since the experience I have always thought I must be emotionally weak to have coped so badly. I don’t think enough is said about post birth anxiety and there certainly is no community support mechanisms in place. If you don’t have post natal depression there is nothing that anyone is willing to do for you. And as with Chezzi I didn’t check this box.