sex

Oh, goodie! Now we're being told that loving the gym basically makes you a cheater.

Just in case anyone anywhere is feeling comfortable in their relationship, it’s time to STOP FEELING SECURE because cheating website Ashley Madison says so.

You see, their recent research is filled with warm and fuzzy results about trust and communication. Ha! Just kidding. Instead, they’ve found that if your partner is going to the gym it could be a sign they’re cheating on you.

Oh, and please don’t presume your partner was exercising for your benefit in the first place. No, they were definitely doing it to impress their-person-on-the-side.

It must be an Ashley Madison core value: Demolish any shred of self-confidence in any happy relationship. GO!

As reported by The Sydney Morning Herald, according to a survey last month of 1100 Ashley Madison members, almost 75 per cent of members exercised to impress their extra-marital partner. Not their wife or husband.

Enlightening. I swore there were other benefits to exercise…

Ashley Madison also found that “going to the gym” is the fifth most common cover-story for meeting up with a mistress, or a playboy, or whatever you’d like to call it. “Working late”, “meeting a friend”, “going shopping” or “on a business trip” were also common lies told by cheating partners.

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Never mind if you have a social partner, who has a job, who sometimes goes to the grocery store, and who likes to keep in shape. DUMP THEM IMMEDIATELY. THEY ARE CHEATING.

Really, Ashley Madison says so.

What a way to feed into insecurities when you’re a platform that not only facilitates infidelity, but profits from it.

For the record: It’s perfectly normal for your partner to enjoy the gym. The same thing applies to you. If you feel confident and happy about your relationship, please don’t let a website designed to undermine its very foundations destroy that.