sex

The 5 best sex toys and vibrators to try if you don’t really enjoy penetration.

You would think that hosting a podcast and writing a newsletter about sex, dating, living alone in your 20s would mean that I’m really experienced in these areas, right? 

Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Especially when it comes to sex. 

I’m constantly learning about my body. What I like, what I don’t like, what I’ll never do again (school teacher roleplaying... shudders).

Earlier this year I was diagnosed with a condition called vaginismus. Vaginismus is different for everyone, but for me, it makes any form of penetrative sex extremely painful.

Because of this, I have had to explore different ways to make myself feel good, all while trying my hardest not to give up on sex altogether just because it's so much effort. 

Watch Em explain what it's like to use a dilator, an instrument used to train the vagina when you have vaginismus. Post continues after video.


Video via Mamamia. 

However, before we begin, I do want to say that I am no expert. These suggestions are strictly based on years of personal trials - some endorsed by medical professionals, and some stemming purely from my own curiosity. 

So, here is my working list of vibrators you can use if you’re like me - and the vaginal back and forth just really isn’t cutting it.

1. Rabbit Ear clitoral vibrators

These vibez are probably my number one pick. They fit so perfectly in your hand and have the perfect amount of power.

Look, I know the shape looks questionable, but it just makes them more fun because there is literally no right way to use it. 

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I usually place the ears on my clit and let it do its magic, but I’ve also tried it upside down, back to front, sideways, and it takes me to “happy town” every time. My favourite is this little guy from Lovehoney.

Similar to the rabbit ear, pincer vibrators like The Pixie from Sweet Vibes are as effective and also fit great in the palm of your hand.

2. Clit suckers

I was sceptical of these at first. I was hearing about them everywhere which made me just think this was some marketing gimmick to make people with clits pay more. WRONG. 

These are amazing. 

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They’re super effective on people who have trouble orgasming through other forms of clitoral stimulation. 

They're also great if you don't like a lot of hand movement. Just place it on your sweet spot and let it do all the work. 

As one of my all time favourites, I highly recommend the Womanizer from Lovehoney.

While you're here, why not have a listen to Em on The Undone, where she speaks to Chantelle Otten, a sexologist, about vibrator dependency. Post continues after podcast.

3. Bullets

I've seen so many people hate on the trusty old bullet. If you are someone like me who's undergoing a mental blockage with sex, sometimes taking it back to basics seriously helps. 

Bullets were my introduction into the world of vibrators and I still use them now. Of course, everyone loves to ride the wave but sometimes still water is just what you need. 

I recommend using bullets if the look of some vibrators freak you out (I get it!). Take it slow and easy with this little cutie called The Surfer from Happy Collective.

4. Palm vibrators

Very nice. Very nice indeed. 

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These bad boiz don't only look cute but they feel great. They fit perfectly in your palm and hit all the right spots. 

Different to the other vibrators I have mentioned prior, these have a larger surface area which allows you to explore and move around to figure out your go-to rhythm and groove. 

If you don't enjoy penetration but want to explore your vulva, I recommend moving this from your clitoris to your vaginal opening so your body can test sensations from different areas. 

When it comes to recommendations in this department, Sweet Vibes has the most beautiful palm vibrator called tuLIPS (I know, cutest name).

5. G-spot vibrators

Okay okay, I know I said no penetration but hear me out. G-spot vibrators are different to your run-of-the-mill dildos. They're usually a smaller length and have a larger head surface. 

Suffering from vaginismus, I not only dislike penetration but it's also super painful for me. However, I'm currently training my body to enjoy it again and this vibrator has helped a lot.

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I sit it at the opening of my vagina and very slowly push it further and further in. I can only get it about three centimetres in, but for me, that's a huge achievement. 

If you want to practise learning how to enjoy penetration like I did, I highly recommend The Romantic from Smile Makers (it takes out the man in romance).

So, there you have it. Let the vibes begin.

Feature Image: Supplied + Mamamia. 

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