Recently, I made a flippant remark that I have since come to regret.
“Do you ever find yourself standing in the shower,” I wrote, “staring at the wall in front of you, with your head slightly cocked to the side, wondering… Wait a minute, what the hell happened to Hanson?”
Well. Apparently the current whereabouts of 90s pop group Hanson wasn’t the most interesting part of that sentence.
The people were shook.
"What kind of person," they asked, "looks at the wall when they're in the shower."
Some were mad, traumatised even, that I look towards the shower head, and in turn the wall behind it that nine times out of 10 needs a very good clean, rather than outwards towards the greater bathroom region where my clothes are most definitely on the floor getting a lil' damp.
Was this some kind of sick... joke? the people wondered. Was I an undercover... psychopath who also kept my Vegemite in the fridge and made my bed with a doona but no top sheet? (Yes, and also yes).
I decided to float the subject at work and, goodness.
The people rioted.
There was yelling. There were accusations. They were judgements made and enemies formed. We were divided into groups.
The Front Facers
The Front Facers are obviously superior but interestingly, also appear to be the minority. They enjoy the hot of the shower on their front, and the control that facing the shower head affords them. They enjoy activities such as washing their face without contorting their body like an idiot and staring at walls contemplating the universe as well as their place within it.