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Well.

Something very strange happened on the television last night and we must speak about it immediately.

In The Bachelor finale, Mr Badger was to choose between Sophie or Brittany. He took them all the way to New Caledonia to meet his family, and stood in the middle of what appeared to be a resort pool to announce his final decision.

But there was a slight… problem.

Mr Badger chose no one and it was both the best and most bizarre Bachelor finale any of us have ever seen. Now, more than 12 hours later, we are still left with a number of very important questions that we would like Osher to answer immediately.

They are as follows:

1. 1. Why did Mr Badger make Brittany and Sophie get all dressed up INCLUDING fake eyelashes which are awkward to apply, only to dump them... both? Could someone not have stopped Brittany from wearing a wedding dress? Anyone?

2. Was he contractually allowed to choose no one?

3. Did they all get the plane home together?

4. Why did Mr Badger go on The Bachelor if he didn’t want a girlfriend? Why didn’t he go on The Block instead?

5. What does Mr Badger recommend offices AROUND THE COUNTRY do with all their money in the sweepstake?

6. Is Osher mad? Or just disappointed?

7. What happened to the ring? We saw him put it in his pocket and then it disappeared? Where did it even go?

8. Is this the most Australian thing that ever happened? Someone getting eight weeks into an intense situation and then deciding, 'eh, f*ck it'?

9. Why couldn’t that lie detector guy from a few weeks ago tell that Mr Badger was tellin' some lies?

10. Why did Sophie get in trouble for not saying how she felt when Mr Badger literally had no feelings the entire time and kept yelling "HOLY CRACKIN' DUCK POO" to distract us?

11. Are Honey Badger’s family kinda stoked they got a free holiday to New Caledonia for no reason?

12. How come we gotta go to work and do our job and Mr Badger gets to do whatever he wants? He literally had one job.

And we shall finish with a very simple recommendation.

After eight weeks of The Bachelor, where we've just seen a dude reject precisely everyone, maybe don't follow up with an ad titled, "DO YOU WANT TO FIND LOVE?" encouraging viewers to sign up for the next season.

Give it some... time, Osher. We all need a little bit of time.