
Look.
The celebrities have been very busy drinking hot beverages from Dunkin' Donuts and sneaking into each other's multi-million dollar mansions.
And honestly it's hard to keep up with who's dating who, who's kissing whose butt on a yacht and how Bradley Cooper is connected to all of this.
Like, if I saw a headline tomorrow that said Brad Pitt and Jennifer Lopez eloped in Vegas and adopted Kanye West as their 44-year-old dependent, I wouldn't be surprised.
It's a weird moment where time is an illusion and the beautiful people are very horny.
Anyway, let me break it down for you.
In March, J.Lo aka Jenny From The Block broke up with her fiancé Alex Rodriguez aka A-Rod. A-Rod, who plays baseball, commemorated the moment by uploading a video to Instagram of a shrine he made of J.Lo, with Coldplay's 'Fix You' playing in the background.
This was weird enough to send J.Lo travelling back in time to 2002 to spend some time on a metaphorical yacht with Ben With The Good Chin.
You see, she missed the good ole days when men would just take out a full-page ad in a magazine to tell you they kinda fancied you. A time before 'Fix You' was even playing in the background of every TV show as they killed off our favourite character.
Thems were simpler times.
In late April, Will Hunting's mate was seen leaving Jenny From The Block's mansion several times. Then in May they went on a week-long vacation to Montana together. Not sure what they did there. Probably rode some horses and laughed about the weird shrine.
Last week, Affleck spent some time with Lopez's mother basically confirming the fact that Bennifer 1.0 was back on. Because apparently Mumma Guadalupe loves a bit of Ben With The Good Chin. And who can blame her, it's a very structurally sound chin.
Then.
Wait for it.
This weekend, Jenny From The Block and Ben With The Good Chin were photographed kissing. According to Page Six, there was also some neck nuzzling and good for them!
Meanwhile, J.Lo's ex A-Rod (aka the man with the creepy shrine) was photographed leaving Katie Holmes' apartment. Yep, the same Katie Holmes who a little bit had to join a cult after she married that old guy from Top Gun.
Top Comments