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Rebecca Sparrow posted a parent's dilemma about Andrew Tate. Then came the comments.

Author and teen expert Rebecca Sparrow fields curly questions about kids daily, talking to thousands of high school students (and their parents) every year.

She answers all the tricky, sticky and complicated conundrums that are keeping mums and dads up at night, and this week, she heard from a woman named Sam*.

"Dear Bec", the concerned parent wrote.

"Please can I ask this anonymously as I am mortified that my son has shown an interest in this, but I think other parents may have the same problem…


"My 13-year-old son (about to start year eight) has expressed his support for Andrew Tate. I know this as I monitor his messages and phone. When I ask him about it he claims he doesn’t but I think he’s lying to me as he knows I wouldn’t want him to do this. His messages imply that he thinks Tate has been set up, that it’s part of the ‘matrix’ and all some big conspiracy.

"I don’t know enough about Andrew Tate to correct him, or to tell him honestly what this man has actually done and said. I need some concrete evidence to make my point about him being sexist, etc.

"How do I talk to him about this and where can I find good info about Tate that will convince him that he is not to be trusted or believed or supported?! Help!!"

Now if the name Andrew Tate escapes you, here's a brief history for you.

Tate is a British-American former professional kickboxer turned entrepreneur and content creator, who runs an online course in "modern wealth creation" at his self created 'Hustler's University.' He touts himself as 'one of the most famous men on the planet', and in 2016 appeared on Big Brother UK.  

Nowadays, he's more of an influencer type with his videos on TikTok surpassing more than five billion views. He also has numerous podcasts, and towards the end of last year was trending as quite literally the most viral person in the world....

But not for good reason. 

Tate is the definition of a misogynist. He says horrendous things about women, mental health, and rape, and just recently he was arrested in Romania on human trafficking charges. 


You can read more about his views here and here. But to give you an idea:

Video via TikTok

So it's not surprising that Sam is concerned about her 13-year-old's obsession with him. 

In sharing the dilemma on her Facebook and Instagram page, and passing on some resources and alternative positive role models for Sam to introduce to her son, Rebecca found her post being inundated with advice from others.

A lot of it was well meaning, and helpful. But that's not the point. 

As Rebecca shared the following day, "Several men posted yesterday offering what is probably very smart advice about how to talk to teenage boys about Andrew Tate. Go in curious. Go in neutral. No person is 100 per cent evil. Look at the positive or helpful things Andrew Tate has said - which is what boys initially might find highly appealing. Talk them through his more problematic messages.

"I get that. It's no doubt the right way to go. On one level I agree with you. 

"But here's the thing - to expect women to tread softly softly when it comes to Andrew Tate feels like a betrayal to ourselves and women everywhere. A man who is on camera talking in such disparaging ways about women, about our intelligence, our role in society, our ability to lead. A man who talks about smashing women in the face with a machete. A man who says that women become a man's property when they get married. 


"And you want me to say, 'Wow yes, he does say some inspiring things!' 


"Let me tell you something - we're f**king sick of it. We're done. This is the world we live in - having to co-exist with men (and teenage boys) who hold these views. To have to sit there, and through gritted teeth pretend that there's worth in anything that comes out of Andrew Tate's month.


"We're tired of it. We're disgusted by it. We're scared of the influence this guy has on our sons. We're scared of the world our daughters are dealing with at school and in workplaces. Because this kind of bulls**t misogyny feeds into violence against women. It sows the seeds that women are less than. It's part of the dehumanising of women. And when you dehumanise a group of people - you can justify their abuse. 

"You know what else I was doing yesterday? Talking to a woman whose 15-year-old daughter is scared to go to work because she's being HIT ON by a 60-year-old male customer at her workplace.

"This is the soup women and girls are swimming in everyday. 

"Click on The Guardian investigation and watch the video. That's just a small sample of who Andrew Tate is.

"I'm a little tired of women having to problem solve this garbage. To be the ones in way too many households to have these conversations with our boys. 

"I'm not posting again about this guy because he doesn't deserve the airtime."

In an effort to follow in Rebecca's footsteps, we'll stop talking about Tate now too. 

Instead, please see Bec's list of GOOD MEN to pass on to your sons. So that we can hopefully help get Tate out of the minds of our youth quick smart:

Rebecca Sparrow's words were republished with her full permission. You can read the original posts on her Facebook page, here.

Feature image: Rebecca Sparrow/Andrew Tate.