There’s a specific place in hell reserved for people who buy the kids in their lives noisy and messy toys.
Recorders, slime, or battery-intensive items, for example.
Or anything that requires parent involvement so that the kids can’t just go away and play by themselves.
Those things are not gifts – they are extra parental work – emotionally, and physically.
Conversely however, if you are the giver of such a present, you will undoubtedly feel a perverse thrill from of utter delight from the recipient, and absolute horror from the recipient’s parent.
If you are such a person, who feels the need to punish parents (and their children) in this way, then please, let us present a new toy for your consideration:
Yellies, from Hasbro, which are powered by children’s screams.
Yes, you read that right: the more, and louder, a child yells at the spider-shaped toy, the faster it scurries around. It is literally powered by yelling.
What fun for everyone within a five kilometre radius.
The toy, which quite obviously was created by someone who is not a parent, or who hates people in general, is available in Australia at various outlets, including Target, and retails from $15.
Much to everyone’s surprise, there has been one parent who foolishly, deliberately and voluntarily, purchased a Yellie for her young son – with disastrous consequences.
“Leo starts screaming… the louder he screams, the faster the spider pursued him,” the mums writes, detailing her Yellie’s maiden trial.
“Leo is backed into a corner as murder glows green in the eyes of little ‘Skadoodle’.”
In the robotic furry critters’ defence, Hasbro does recommend the toy is not suitable for children under three years of age.
Naturally, the Twittersphere have opinions on the toy (and were better able to predict its hazards than the mother above):
The person who invented this toy is clearly not a parent. pic.twitter.com/DQGsrn58mI
— Ellie Hall (@ellievhall) December 12, 2018