sex

Would you travel with your vibrator?

“Please don’t open this.”

It is the holiday season.

Holidays are fun. And so are vibrators. They go together like sunscreen and Frosty Fruit icy poles (by the by, have you tried the new lemon, lime and bitters flavour? YUM).

So would you pack your vibrator into your suitcase, fitting it snugly next to your favourite bikini, electric toothbrush and hole-in-the-ankle tennis socks?

Well, if you’re road-tripping somewhere, it’s easy. You can throw your vibrator in any old bag – heck, throw it in the esky if that’s what floats your boat – and not worry about it until you reach your destination.

But air travel is a different story. Because airports have security people. Security people that X-ray your bags and pull them apart if they suspect you might be smuggling bombs or – gasp! – some nail scissors onto the plane.

And nobody wants a burly, agitated-looking brow-furrowing man (who looks a lot like your Uncle Kevin) pulling a bright purple vibrator out of your bag, holding it up to the light and saying “Now what’s this, girly?”.

Especially not in front of the bored people in the line for Customs, who have nothing better to do than stare at you.

One Mamamia team member (who is still very, very embarrassed about the incident) was once asked to unpack her vibrating suitcase in front of an airline worker and approximately 50 other general members of the public. The airline worker was ridiculously cranky, as she evidently thought her time was being wasted by errant sex toys.

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Happily, the cause of the vibrating wasn’t actually a vibrator (get your minds out of the gutter people, GET YOUR MINDS OUT NOW), but an electrical shaver. Still, it was enough to put one of our beloved team members off travelling with anything that has the potential to make ANY kind of movement EVER.

Electrical toothbrushes are out.

The electrical shaver is in the bin.

Vibrating iPhone function has been disabled.

The Gloss recently covered this exact topic, with author Amanda Chatel saying:

What’s wrong with hands?

Personally, I have never considered traveling with a vibrator. It’s not a fear that I might have my sexuality discovered (oh no!), it’s just never crossed my mind. I figure if push comes to shove, I have hands.

Granted, they do not produce the same outcome in such a short amount of time, but sometimes that’s just how it goes. Life can’t always be immediate orgasms and chocolates.

And the lady has a point. But, if hands just won’t do it for you – if you really, really want life to be immediate orgasms and chocolates – there are a multitude of sites on the World Wide Web that will tell you how to get away with packing your Rabbit safely in your suitcase.

Most tips are along the lines of making sure you never take it in your carry-on (you really don’t want it being mistaken for a weapon) and leaving out the batteries. You can also have a go at purchasing something that looks more like a lipstick or a massager rather than a replica of a 30-cm penis. Awkward.

Do you pack your vibrator when you travel? Would you?

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