Now that everyone in the western world with a vagina has read 50 Shades of Grey: what’s next? What to do with all that pent up…..interest?
One Japanese bar has an idea, come and talk about masturbation over a glass of wine. Hors d’oeuvres with a side of which-is-your-favourite vibrator, anyone?
Women living in Tokyo have embraced frank and fearless conversation about women’s masturbation and opened up a dedicated “love and sex bar.”
At Love Joule, which opened its doors in July, you won’t hear many customers making polite small talk about which Emmys actresses had too much stuff injected into their faces or whether ankle boots are the new high heels (they do appears to be).
Instead, these women are talking about ‘nights in with the girls.’
And rather than displaying displaying bottles of liquor, the shelves behind Love Joule’s bar counter are decorated with sex toys. Fifty of them in an array of colours.
The bar’s proprietor, Megumi Nakagawa, says having vibrators in the place of bottles of alcohol gives women the confidence. She says they’re more likely to discuss their solo intimate behaviour – and what turns them on.
This from the Tokyo Reporter:
“Once they take a seat, customers are able to experience a pleasant place in which they can openly discuss masturbation,” says Nakagawa. “Since most people view female masturbation as something of a mystery or taboo, it is not a usual topic at typical bars.”
Nakagawa describes the atmosphere at Bar Joule as “fashionable and sexy in a different kind of space — perfect for girls-only discussions or a date.”
Love Joule’s frequent clientele includes women from the local commercial sex industry and adult video actresses.
According to Japanese pop culture news blog Arama They Didn’t, Love Joule has arrived in the midst of evolving perceptions of female masturbation within the country.
Over the past 5-10 years, Japanese women have felt increasingly comfortable about discussing this highly personal subject. The website reports:
“Traditionally, whenever a female patient would come in with a problem like having a sex toy get stuck, hospital staff would look at them coldly,” Dr. Ikuko Ikeshita of Ikeshita Ladies’ Clinic told Japanese web magazine ZakZak. “Now people realize that it’s just something that happens.”
Dr. Ikeshita says that over the past few years, there has been a movement to do away with the stigma surrounding female masturbation in Japan, pointing to the increase in websites discussing female sexuality and stores selling female sex goods.”
Don’t you hate it when a sex toy gets stuck? Awkward!
At least talking about it won’t be a problem any longer for the patrons of this bar.
Is creating a dedicated public space for female sex talk a step toward breaking down taboos? Or does it only reinforce the notion that this genre of conversation should be strictly conducted in situations removed from the general public?
If all this sex talk has sparked your interest – you can check out our range of sex toys on Mamamia Shopping…

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Comments
25 Comments so far
I still remember the time I was looking for a new dress and passed a sign that said “Grand Opening! Women’s Boutique”. It was decorated with balloons and an arrow that pointed into an arcade. Figuring it was a clothing boutique, in I went. I entered the shop and the door closed behind me with a kind of jingle of finality, and I saw wall to wall rows of dildos and other sex toys. Only then did it click: ‘ooooh, WOMEN’s boutique’. It took several months of passing by that ballooned sign out front before I realised “Grand Opening” was the name of the shop.
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Yeah I don’t really care about the bar… Can we just talk vibrators and sex toys instead?!
I like the look of most of the ones in the gallery. It’s good to see vibrators that look like phalluses are on the way out, because really, since when is a penis attractive?!
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I think it’s a nice idea. It’s not like they’ll arrest you if you try to go off topic and (shocking!) talk about politics or something. But it might be a fun way for women to relax about their sexuality.
I think it’s useful when women have space and time to talk about what actually turns them on. We have so many porno images shoved in our faces of “this is what’s sexy”, “this is how you should look”, “here’s how you should like being f***ed”, “here’s how you should f***”, that it’s important to have a space to openly discuss what you think is sexy and why.
Even if the answer is that you find pole dancing and face-c****ing sexy because you like feeling like a porn star – at least that gives you the chance to acknowledge that you like the validation of ‘performing’ popular notions of sex well, rather than blindly chirping that it makes you feel empowered. (note: I like those things, but I also know why I like them.)
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Omg, what on earth is “face-c****ing”? I suddenly feel so naive!
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Not sure if I’m right but I think it has something to do with a woman sitting on a man or woman’s face for oral sex?!
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Its a bit creepy. What if you want to talk about a different subject? Can’t you just discuss that topic in any bar? Must be a pretty niche market.
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Hey guys, love this topic but can’t switch out of writing mode – it’s “mojito” (headline) and “hors d’oeuvres” (second par). Could you please correct them?
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All fixed. Thanks, Amy
Mary MM Intern/Moderator
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Thanks so much Mary!
On the actual topic of a public space for sex talk: I think it’s a great idea. I really believe it’s important to be able to talk about sex as much as anything else, because it gives you a chance to see what works for others and find what works for you. Everyone’s different, and somehow talking about it makes that fact sit better (at least in my experience).
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Sorry, but I’ve never read 50 Shades of Wrong, and never will.
And I think the bar is ridiculous. If you want to get together with your girlfriends and talk about masturbation then do so. You don’t need a bar dedicated to the topic.
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You don’t “need” choc-chip-cookie-dough ice cream either, but it’s still great and fun and awesome and doughy……
One woman’s “ridiculous” is another woman’s “delicious”……..just sayin.
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I would argue against choc-chip cookie dough – I do NEED that.
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How do you know that 50 Shades is distasteful (or ‘wrong’) if you’ve never read it? It really bugs me when people dramatically declare they’ll never read/watch something but clearly have a strong opinion about it. Why not read it so you can actually have an informed opinion?
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I haven’t read it either but saw a small part included in an article that was discussing the book and it was so much worse than I expected. Terrible terrible writing.
Prior to that I had enough intelligent people I respect tell me that it’s the worst book they’ve ever read which was good enough for me. I hate to say it but the only people I know who read it and liked it are not exactly the type of people whose opinions I respect.
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Ummmmm. Well. That first picture, the pink thing with the hole in it, what is it? I mean I know it’s a sex toy but what do you do with it?
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It’s just a vibrator.
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You hold it against your clitoris. I just bought the exact one and it’s amazing! Actually, that’s not a bad idea for a post – the best sex toys on the market. Going into sex shops can be quite daunting and I’d love some guidance on what’s worth the pennies vs what isn’t.
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I so did not read that as ‘pennies’ Kate!
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h’ors doeuvres!
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That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard. Also, I must be one of the only women around who has not read & never will read 50 shades. No thanks.
)
I am not a frustrated housewife.
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Why is it dumb? It’s an upper class sex shop where you can enjoy a cocktail, sounds great to me. Are you inferring that people who use toys are frustrated? If so, you are mistaken!
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Preach Mid 20′s! Haha.
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I believe Flowerchild insinuated that only frustrated housewives read 50 Shades.
I live in the Western World, have a vagina, am not a housewife, am not sexually frustrated, and have absolutely NO intention of reading that drivel either – so she’s spot-on, in my opinion
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Thank you Alyssa. Good to know there are other women like me out there! I would also rather eat razor blades than read a Mills & Boon novel. (are they even still around?)
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I don’t think it’s neccessarily a dumb idea (it’d end up being a Hns party regular over here though… can’t see much point otherwise), BUT – I too, have not read, nor will read that book… I rarey get on-board cult-like fanaticism however.
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