vibrator1 380x513 SEALED SECTION: How do I introduce THIS into the mix?Ever used a vibrator? Alone? With a partner? Such a minefield, so many questions. So let’s just start with a simple one…

Today’s Question:

My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, but recently I’ve found myself getting a little curious about introducing a vibrator into the mix. At first he was extremely doubtful about this and not too keen to tell the truth, but as we began to talk it through more he has become a bit more accepting.

However, he mentioned a concern about using a vibrator during sex with me (I suggested a clitoral vibrator rather than anything too threatening). He says he’s heard that using a vibrator close to the penis can cause blood vessels to burst and so we “couldn’t use it like that anyway”. Is this true?

Tracey Cox says:

No it’s not true, though I have to say I don’t know too many men who like a vibrator used on the head or shaft of the penis, even though it is perfectly safe. Men tend to get more pleasure if you use it on their nipples, testicles or the perineum (smooth, hairless bit between his anus and testicles).

I think the whole idea of adding a vibrator to the ‘mix’ is a good one and yes, a small, non-threatening clitoral vibrator would be just the thing! A bullet vibe is around the size of a tampon but nice and strong and a great one to start with because it’s not phallic shaped. Let him use it on you during penetration to show him just how much more effective and easier it is to provide much-needed clitoral stimulation during intercourse using a vibe.

Fingers (yours or his) are fine but sometimes it’s awkward to reach the clitoris, they get knocked around and it’s hard to keep the stroke gentle if he’s thrusting hard (bit like trying to rub your head and tummy in two different directions or speeds!). Your boyfriend sounds like he’s still a little nervous about being ‘replaced’ by your vibrator, so I’d strongly suggest you don’t let him see just how easily you can climax with it, when compared to his mouth or fingers. Instead, use it to ‘tease’ yourself rather than sprint straight for the finish line, even if you are tempted to show off!

tracy cox1 380x341 SEALED SECTION: How do I introduce THIS into the mix?Tracey Cox is an internationally recognised sex, body language and relationships expert as well as a TV presenter. She’s  appeared on Oprah, CNN and The Today Show in the US, as well as numerous prime-time chat shows in the UK and world-wide. Her first book, Hot Sex: How to Do It, was an instant worldwide success and is now available in 140 countries. Her other book titles include Hot SexsupersexsuperflirtHot Relationships and superhotsex. She also has her own range of Tracey Cox Supersex Toys and Lubricants.

Follow Tracey on Twitter @TraceyCox or on Facebook here.   Her website is at  www.traceycox.com and you can buy her books here.  Tracey also blogs weekly here.

Do you use a vibrator? Are you tempted to try? How does your partner feel about it?



View more posts on:

Comment Guidelines: Imagine you’re at a dinner party. Different opinions are welcome but keep it respectful or the host will show you the door. We have zero tolerance for any abuse of our writers, our editorial team or other commenters. You can read a more detailed outline of our commenting guidelines HERE.

And if you’re offensive, you’ll be blacklisted and all your comments will go directly to spam. Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re going to be – cool. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation.

Important note for those wishing to comment anonymously: If you wish to remain anonymous, please simply use 'Anonymous' or 'Guest' as your user name and type in guest@mamamia.com.au as the email.