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Just 7 of the worst Netflix movies you should definitely not watch if you value your time.

There’s nothing better than curling up on the couch in your PJs in front of a sappy Netflix movie.

You know, the kind you probably wouldn’t tell many people you actually enjoyed.

But sometimes, while on the quest to fall into a beautifully-cast rom-com that allows you to completely switch your brain off, you find yourself knee-deep in actual sh*t.

We’ve all been there. Thinking we’ve found a hidden Netflix gem that turns out it wasn’t “so bad it’s kinda good”, it was just plain… bad.

It makes us angry.

Those long minutes of our lives we’ll never get back.

A waste of our precious Saturday nights in.

It’s the worst kind of disappointment.

“Just switch it off,” we hear you say.

Someone needs to watch these terrible movies for the benefit of those who haven’t yet fallen victim.

We consider it a public service.

So without further ado, here are even Netflix movies we strongly urge you to avoid:

1. LOL

Oh, Miley.

And OH, Demi.

A remake of the popular 2008 French teen drama of the same name, Demi Moore and Miley Cyrus play mother and daughter in a film about ~teen angst~.

Miley’s bratty character Lola, who documents her life in an online diary of sorts, can’t decide whether she’s in love with her best friend or not. And also some of the girls at school are mean.

For a movie named LOL, there is not a single laugh out loud moment. Image: Youtube.

Basically, it's a movie about Lola texting a lot, fighting with her mum and liking boys. It's like a very long, boring episode of Gilmore Girls but nowhere near as endearing.

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I'm actually making it sound waaay better than it actually is but TRUST US.

2. Dude

Starring Lucy Hale and Awkwafina, Dude is a doozy of a terrible Netflix film.

With a synopsis that describes it as the story of “four best friends navigating loss and major life changes – who smoke a lot of weed – during their last two weeks of high school,” Dude sounds like it could be a teen drama winner fit for the laziest of weekends.

But oh, it is not.

It bad. Image: Youtube.

The plot is... so incredibly confusing, lost and troubling.

And you might as well be using your brain for something productive, right?

PICK SOMETHING ELSE.

3. Someone Great

A movie with so much promise...

someone great netflix
But so very bad. Image: Youtube.
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When Jenny (Gina Rodriguez) is offered her dream job as a music journalist in San Francisco, her boyfriend of nine years says he isn’t ready to leave New York, and calls it quits.

Recruiting the help of her two best friends (Brittany Snow and DeWanda Wise), Jenny embarks on a drug-fuelled journey to reconnect with who she was before the relationship that defined her twenties.

By the end, you will find yourself so completely and utterly annoyed by the characters, you'll wish you actually left the house and spoke to real people instead.

4. The Silence

This movie will frustrate you to no end.

Starring The Devil Wears Prada’s Stanley Tucci and Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’s Kiernan Shipka, the film follows a family’s fight for survival as the world is attacked by monsters in the form of terrifying... bats.

They prey by sound, so the characters need to stay completely silent. (It's very Bird Box-meets-A Quiet Place.)

LET THE BATS TAKE US, WE WANT TO SCREAM. Image: Youtube.

It relies almost entirely on backstories that are never fully explained, and while it has some potentially clever twists and turns, they fizzle, and then it just sort of... ends.

With many unanswered questions.

It's a no from us.

5. The Package

This is a movie about a teenager who accidentally cuts his penis off while on a booze-filled high school trip in the woods.

Please, sir, no. Put the knife down. Please. Image: Netflix.
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His friends then spend the entire movie trying to deliver the freshly-severed penis to the hospital while said penis-less teen has his open crotch wound tended to.

YES - SOMEONE MADE AN ACTUAL MOVIE BASED ON THIS PREMISE.

Starring Daniel Doheny (Alex Strangelove) and Geraldine Viswanathan (Blockers), it had the potential to be Superbad-like smutty yet hilarious, but it was just downright stressful and not a single one of its characters were even remotely likeable.

Plus NO ONE WOULD REACT LIKE THIS TO AN INCIDENT SO HORRIFIC.

Go ahead and watch if you want 1.5 hours of hardcore cringing, sweaty palms, squeamish stomachs and frustrated hand gestures towards the TV.

Sure, some people might like their movie-watching experience to be riddled with anxiety ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

6. Sierra Burgess Is a Loser

Look, we're usually here for anything starring Noah Centineo, but this was just off.

Noah Centineo
Noah Centineo's face doesn't even redeem it.
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It's about how an average teenage girl falls for the hot guy (played by Noah) at a neighbouring school by pretending to be the head cheerleader.

She... catfishes him.

AND GETS AWAY WITH IT.

It's extremely problematic.

There's actually a part where the main character pretends to be deaf.

YEP.

NOT OKAY.

7. The Christmas Wedding Planner

This movie might just ruin your entire life.

Okay, that's a tad dramatic, and we know it's not... Christmas.

But it's quite possibly the biggest turd in the entire Netflix catalogue and there's no nicer way to put it.

It's about a wedding planner whose one dream in life is to have a Christmas-themed wedding (because that sounds... tasteful), but ends up planning her rich fancy cousin's wedding instead.

Cue a ruggedly-handsome private investigator hired to spy on the groom because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, who also just so happens to have cut in front of the main character in a coffee shop line recently and yeah, you can guess how it ends.

In one part, a guy, in all seriousness, checks his watch and says "she'll be here in 10 minutes," but he's not actually wearing a watch.

Oh and Serena van der Woodsen's mum is in it and she actual wears a Christmas-themed headband:

NO.

You're welcome.

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