Warning: This post contains spoilers for a movie you definitely should never watch so it shouldn’t be a problem.
The movie Dude is the worst thing I’ve ever seen on Netflix and that includes Horrible Bosses 2 and every movie starring Adam Sandler.
As far as bad movies go, I was all in when I read Netflix’s description of Dude:
“Four best friends navigate loss and major life changes – and smoke a lot of weed – during their last two weeks of high school.”
It sounded… fine.
The mention of weed seemed a little excessive, but high school movies are the best. There’s precisely zero critical thinking required and every now and then they’re legitimately funny. So I was keen.
But then…then… it started.
It opens on the four lead actors rapping in a car while smoking weed. There’s a lot of talk of ‘dicks’, and I get the sense that this movie is going to recreate pretty much every film about teenage boys and just make it about teenage girls. So Lily (Lucy Hale), Chloe (Kathryn Prescott), Amelia (Alexandra Shipp) and Rebecca (Awkwafina) like smoking weed, talking about sex, and rapping.
But within the first ten minutes, Dude copies the plot of every single American teen movie of the last two decades.
A character named Thomas, who we've hardly met, but apparently was Lily's boyfriend and Chloe's brother, dies in a car accident.
This twist is not that important though, because we suddenly flash forward a year, and everyone seems to be doing fine. Thomas' death is just brought up every ten minutes to remind us that this movie is deep, the characters have feelings, etc.
The real tension is that Lily wants to go to Columbia University, and she wants her best friend Chloe to go to NYU, so they can be close. But SHOCK - Chloe doesn't want to go to NYU, she wants to get away from Lily, for reasons that aren't made clear at any point.
Even though Lily fulfils a major stereotype about women by being the over-controlling friend who won't let Chloe live her own life, we're meant to believe she's very feminist, because she a) is open about having sex, b) is always keen to "get weird" with drugs, and c) acts just like a teenage boy by asking such questions as, 'would you rather have penises for fingers or vaginas for ears?'