parents

Mums reveal their worst ever Mothers' Day presents.

“Um- thank you, darling.”

This Sunday is Mother’s day, so no doubt children from around Australia have been queuing up in the multi-purpose room or on the basketball court to buy their mums the best present $5 minus the cost of a packet of Nerds can buy.

Comedian, writer, singer and radio/television presenter Em Rusciano is no stranger to the joy and utter ridiculousness a Mother’s Day Stall can bring. Her daughters Marchella and Odette are the masters, probably due to the fact that Em sets them this genius challenge: Buy the crappiest gift you can find.

Last night, she posted this on her Facebook page

BUT- if you can possibly believe it, “gum nut earrings” are falling down the ranks in the quest for the “craptastic crown.”

The mothers of Facebookland have responded in a big way, and we also posed the question to the mums of the Mamamia Women’s Network.

What is the worst present you have ever received for Mother’s Day?

It turns out, most kids are pretty spectacular when it comes to the bizarre and useless.

Here are a few of our favourites…

“Last year my partner took the boys to pick a gift for me. My son chose some 3m hooks.”

Practical.

“I got egg carton slippers!”

Watch out Jimmy Choo.

“Apparently my daughter asked the mum’s running the stall if they had any rum because it’s her mum’s favourite. When she repeated the conversation back to me in front of mum’s at pickup all I could say was ‘Did they have scotch instead?’….. she’s going to check at the stall again tomorrow.”

Good girl.

“My daughter told me exactly what she thought of me at age 3. I don’t know what you can read but I’m seeing ‘happy Mother’s Day fat fuk’. She was going for Katelyn, but I guess she got bored and chose a couple of choice letters to stick on instead.”

Hey, spelling is hard okay?

“A couple of years ago my daughter bought me two giant-sized, glittery nail files from the Mothers’ Day stall at her school. I never file my nails. This year I went with her to the stall and she kept trying to buy me a pair of earrings shaped like scissors. I don’t have pierced ears, but she insisted I could tie them or stickytape them to my ears.”

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“I have received a plunger…..twice….from the same child.”

Career aspirations?

“Last year I gave my daughter $5 for her school’s stall, she spent 50c on a pair of earrings for me and put $4.50 in her money box…..my ears aren’t pierced!!”

Well, she certainly is frugal.

“My 5 year old got me these from today’s Mother’s Day stall, watch tattoos. I have no words lol” 

You’ll know the time twice a day I guess…

“My preppy daughter had her first experience of the Mother’s Day stall today. She bought lollies and ate them on the way home.”

‘I’m sorry mum, school was just too much today. There was nothing I could do.’

“In 1995 my gorgeous daughter bought me a 1992 diary. Her comment to my friend. “my mum is a business woman….. She needs a diary”

‘Time is just a social construct put in place to control the structure of our everyday lives, mum. Stick it to The Man. Live in the now.’

“Maybe I should have that outlook on the Mother’s Day stalls. I put effort in and spent $6 on a nice candle from Kmart for the stall – and this is what my son bought with his $2.”

‘You’re a top chick, mum.’

“At 7yrs old my son had $10 for the stall, came home with $7 told me ‘everything was ugly or for old people so I bought a sausage roll.'”

He’s got his priorities sorted. Flattery and savoury pastry.

“I got an early present off my 6 year old today.. It says ‘Jesus is the light of the world’.. Hmmmm not sure what can beat this one”

Yep.

“I received a hand made clay ash tray which looked like a turd. It’s one of my favourite things, even though I’ve never smoked.”

Maybe it is some kind of abstract message? ‘Smoking is shit’? Perhaps? No. Okay.

“I didn’t even set that challenge and one year I got a ‘Merry Christmas’ hand towel!!”

Christmas is a feeling. It lives all year ’round.

“From my 6yr old son who is now 17 #stillonthemantle #itsamoneybox”

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Has this money-box taken part in the #KylieJennerLipChallenge? Ouch.

“My son bought me a little wind up ceramic that plays music, but the music is incredibly creepy, the kind you would hear in a horror movie just before the monster jumps out. I started begging him not to wind it up so he snuck into my bedroom and let it play while I was sleeping!”

Oh how sweet, and incredibly terrifying.

“I received this lovely gift from my son purchased at the mothers day stall. I’m so glad because now I won’t have to be pasty white or fat.”

How VERY dare you!

“When I was like 5, I hadn’t bought her anything. So, I went to my room and took a candle that was shaped like a puppy, and wrapped it for her and gave her that. She was very gracious in saying it was a lovely gift but knowing how much I loved it, I could keep it and we would have a shopping day for her present the following day (which she obviously paid for but thanked me for).”

‘Oh that’s lovely darling but… you keep it.’ Well played, mum. Well played.

“An ‘aeroplane’ made by my 3 year old at childcare!”

It’s, um, Abstract. And…

… faecal. It’s a poo.

“I used to wrap up the picture frames that were already around our house and present them proudly to my mum. And one year, I rewarded all her hard work by “polishing” her shoes… with butter.”

Oils are good for leather, right? Oh no. Oh dear.

“I once got a cow toenail. I couldn’t work out what it was and my daughter excitedly told me if I didn’t want it she would gladly have it back as she had always wanted a cow toenail!”

‘In that case sweetie, you keep it. I couldn’t possibly deprive you the cow toenail you so deeply desire.’

You check follow Em Rusciano on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and be sure to check out her show Motherload. Tickets and info: here.

For more like this, check out some of our other posts:

An intimate look at mothers holding babies on their first day together.

Screw the #dadbod. Let’s celebrate the #mumbod

Mother’s Day picks: Gift solutions for mums who love food.

What is the best worst present you’ve ever received from your kids or given to your mum?

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