'Ah the career killer.' The comment from my boss about my pregnancy that changed my career.

"Ah, the old career killer!"

I was seven months pregnant, on-set with a producer I had been working with for a few years. He pointed at my swollen belly and punctuated his quip with a friendly little wink and a chuckle.

He was joking.

It wasn’t even a very original gag; it felt like a hangover from decades past and I was stunned that people still went about saying things like that to women.

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He was joking. A man who was essentially my boss putting a voice to one of my deepest fears going into parenting –hilarious.

And yes, he was quite clearly a dreadful person who needed to check himself into a rehab centre for the toxically masculine, but… was he right?

It’s a frightening prospect, taking an extended break from the career you’ve only just started building in order to transform yourself into an entirely new creature – a Mum. 

It’s also a frustrating trade off because no matter how equal your partnership, at least initially, the career of the birthing parent will almost always be more profoundly impacted by the decision to grow your family.

But as I’ve come to learn, this transition can be powerful. 

As it turned out, Mr insensitive was way off the mark – my career wasn’t over when I had my little one. As prepared as I was for my it to take a hit, that’s just not how it happened.

I’ve always been a writer, and the skill had come in handy in my past work life, but I had never considered it as a part-time, paying job. That is, until my son was born.  

A few articles of mine had been published here and there, on issues that really mattered to me, but I never had the confidence to take it further than that. The day I sent my first pitch into Mamamia was the day that all changed. I had an idea for a parenting piece that was ‘very Mamamia’ in that it was topical, feminist, and it would turn out, quite polarizing. It got the attention of one the editors and soon after, during the three hours a day while my son napped, I was spilling over with ideas and plans to launch myself off as a freelance writer.

Becoming a mother gave me a new purpose, but not only in the way I had expected. It gave me a kind of laser focus that helped me zero in on how I wanted my life to look.

And it's not just me, it’s something I've noticed in a lot of other women taking the leap into motherhood, mid-career build. 

They have a baby, and BOOM they metamorphose into an absolute boss.

At six months post-partum, my sister stepped in to take over managing an unprecedented government initiative and several of my good friends have gone back to work post maternity leave and been offered a promotion or head hunted into a new position. One of my close friends who now has two little ones, is starting her own business in industry she’s always seen herself belonging in.

It's cool, and maybe a promising sign of the times. Or perhaps it’s simply testament to how unstoppable we are. Women are pretty phenomenal creatures to start with, and the transition into motherhood only seems to amplify our awesome.

But before we crack open the champers and celebrate, we have to talk about the hard stuff. It’s not all ‘girl bossing’ postpartum. There is a pretty vast caveat to all of this career climbing. While women have a boundless potential to thrive, without the proper support in place, we can only go so far. 

The pandemic saw a lot of us find clarity on how we want our working lives to look. And for some, that meant returning to study, leaving full-time work to start in a new and exciting direction. But the only way this happens is with significant support, from those around us and from government policy.

Right now, in Australia, childcare fees are still utterly prohibitive. And the rising cost of living will mean some families may no longer survive on just one income, meaning likely, a pressure for parents to return to jobs that pay the bills, not just jobs that light their souls on fire.

Things are changing, slowly, and it can only get better from here, but we have to keep fighting for better support for working parents.

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When looking in from the outside, I was so anxious I would lose myself in the transition to motherhood. I looked at the sleep deprivation, the round-the-clock worry, the endless washing (my god, the washing is endless), and I thought ‘how could there be any time left for me?’ but I didn’t need to be so worried. 

You know that old saying, if you want something done, ask a busy person? Well, I can tell you, becoming a mum turns being ‘busy’ up to an eleven.

My theory is, when you have kids, your free time becomes so precious and brief, that every single moment you have to work on our own thing is used to its full potential.

Nowadays, when I email off a pitch, I no longer have time to over-analyse my tone or question if my idea is a good one, I just press send and go put my sixth load of washing on.

Did you know we have a whole family focussed community you can join on Facebook for more discussions like this? Join the Mamamia Family Facebook group and follow Mamamia Family on Instagram and tell us what #parentinglookslike for you!

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