You’d think, after defeating his opponent 6-3 6-4 6-3 in the opening round of the Australian Open last night and breaking a record in the process, Swiss tennis champion Roger Federer might have been given a moment to breathe.
But anchormen don’t rest, people, and neither should Federer. No sir!
Not when one Will Ferrell (AKA Ron Burgundy) is in the crowd and has a face of determination such as this:
Ferrell, 50, was courtside for the match and wasn't willing to forgo the opportunity to interview Federer the way his famous Anchorman character Ron Burgundy would insist.
He was called onto the court by legend John McEnroe, who was interviewing 36-year-old Federer after the game, and things... Well, things got weird. GLASS CAGE OF EMOTIONS weird.
First Ferrell, ahem Burgundy, thanked "John McIntosh" for the introduction, making Federer wince.
Then proceeded to ask Federer if he feels like a 'gazelle'. Fair question, considering the way he moves on the court.
"Maybe. Maybe not. Don't they get eaten in the end?" Federer replied.
"Not if they're fast enough," Ferrell declared.
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Then, it was Federer's appearance put under Pulitzer-prize-winning scrutiny.
"Quick question, Roger. You're 36-years-old, you seem ageless. Are you a witch or a vampire?"
McEnroe wanted to know "Which was better?" and Federer wasn't too keen on either.
"A vampire is probably better," Ferrell confirmed for all those wondering at home.
Ferrell asked about Federer's dietary habits, in a way only that anchorman would.
"There's a rumour in the men's locker room that you love coming to play down here in Melbourne and your secret to fitness is you only eat wombat meat," Ferrell asked. "Is that true?"
"That is untrue," Federer said.
"Have you ever tasted wombat meat?" Ferrell fired back.
"I have not. Should I?" Federer said, looking genuinely concerned for the wildlife of Australia.
"It is delicious. The national food of Australia," Ferrell responded.
— #AusOpen (@AustralianOpen) January 16, 2018
Finally, it was fans placed under the unwavering Burgundy gaze.
"Roger I know how much this crowd means to you, they're an amazing crowd. But does it annoy when they just scream 'C'mon Rogaaa! C'mon Rogaaa!' over and over again?"
Ever a good sport, Federer said it "reminds me of my own name, which is increasingly difficult to remember as I get older".
Ferrell and his wife, Swedish actress Viveca Paulin, were also courtside for Venus Williams' loss to Belinda Bencic on Monday. She, however, escaped his comedic clutches.
In other actual tennis news, Federer winning against Slovenian Aljaz Bedene last night means he's achieved the longest first-round winning streak in tennis. He's had 19 successive tournament-opening wins at the Australian Open.
The reigning champion next faces German Jan-Lennard Struff in his quest to win his 20th major, and his sixth at Melbourne Park.
Ferrell, meanwhile, will continue bringing news to the people of the world as the timeless, troubled, maroon-suit-wearing Burgundy.
Stay classy, Ferrell. Stay classy.