Here's what your Christmas tree says about you.

Look, I don't think it would come as a surprise to know that I have a very exceptional skill. No, omg, not my insane athletic capabilities. Or my black belt in karate. So embarrassing, you guys. Not those gifts.

The other gift.

It only comes out once a year, and it specifically has to do with your Christmas tree. 

Watch: The Christmas gifts Mamamia got and gave that weren't all that great. Story continues below. 

Video via Mamamia

To me, there's truly nothing pervier than seeing how someone has decorated their tree. Because it tells me a lot about who they are as a person. And my theories are bulletproof.

Erin, pls. But it's true! Your Christmas tree says an awful lot about who you are. Just like your emotional support water bottle and your netball position.

So you know what I thought would be fun? Assessing your tree and telling you what it means.

Because given my extraordinary skill, it's only fair that I show you it in action. 

Behold: here's what your Christmas tree says about you.

An all-white tree.

If there's someone who loves to make an entrance, it's you sweetie.

Your house is modern and stylish, and you love a little bit of glamour, drama and a bold aesthetic statement (see: your floating staircase). 


While haters will say all-white Christmas trees look 'tacky', yours isn't those kind of 'cheap' ones with the random built-in red lights — it's way more sophisticated and elegant than that. And you actually get a lot of compliments on it from your girlfriends, so.

The 'hoarder' tree.

You've never thrown a single decoration out in your life, and your tree is literally buckling under the weight of sentimental ornaments collected by your family over the years. 

The history! The tradition! You even kept that really ugly green velvety Santa decoration your uncle Paul brought overseas for you and your new husband back in 1999.

You have those 'Santa stop here' signs sticking in the front yard of your house. 

Your second-from-the-top kitchen drawer is also utter chaos — and you wouldn't have it any other way. 

A real pine tree.

You've never had a sniff of hay fever in your life and you love to post on Instagram Stories about picking your tree every year and making it a whole thing. 

More often than not, the top of the tree hits the ceiling and kinda folds over a bit because it's excessive for your tiny apartment — but it's so real! So traditional! And omg can you smell it? CAN YOU SMELL THE PINE?

You secretly hate the mess they create and having to cart them to the tip every year, but you enjoy the bragging rights of having the real deal.


Lots of tinsel.

One look on the Mamamia Facebook page and you'll know that people have A LOT of feels about tinsel. Most of them negative. 

Most people will tell you that tinsel is the devil, or it gives them the 'ick', which feels unfair. 

In any case, you firmly believe nothing yells Christmas like long strips of colourful decorative material shoved throughout every spare branch of your artificial Christmas tree.

You love the simpler things in life and your favourite Christmas movie is Home Alone. 

Fake snow.

If you have fake snow on your tree or you're quite partial to a hefty sprinkling of snow-related decorations, you've never experienced a white Christmas. 

In fact, you've never actually spent Christmas in any other climate other than that of a scorching hot summer's day in Australia. Not once. 

You're a dreamer and you live vicariously through your festive decorations. 

A wooden tree.

If you're a person with a wooden Christmas tree, you love minimalism and organisation.

You probably got your wooden tree from a very expensive homewares store and you're definitely very confident and also very cool. 

You won't go too hard on the colour or decorations front (because of the hating clutter thing) and if a child even thinks about putting a decoration in the wrong spot, you'll swiftly remove it the moment they leave the room. 

Homemade ornaments.

Specifically, of the kindergarten to year four variety. 


You're the kind of person who really loves your kids — so much so that not only do you keep every single bit of their sh**ty school crafts and books in the attic, but you also let them have free rein over decorating the tree because you genuinely think their 'ornaments' are actually very cute. 

You love organised chaos and don't care that there are gaping gaps or unevenness on the tree (I'm shuddering just thinking about it.)

A colour theme.

Ahh, yes. The strict colour theme. You buy all your Christmas ornaments from Bed Bath & Table and stick to the same specific colour every single year — and okay yes, you often want to branch out and start over with a different colour, but you've already committed to the theme and have 17 silver snowflakes. 

Plus, you always get heaps of compliments about it on Instagram, anyway.

You're a perfectionist and don't let anyone else help with the baubles. Your tree must be treated like a work of art. Seen, but never touched! 

Want to hear more from Erin? About Christmas trees.... but mostly beauty? Follow her on Instagram.

Tell me. Where do you fit in here? Share with us in the comment section below.

Feature image: Instagram/@kimkardashian. 

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