'I was a male escort. These were some of the worst, and some of the best parts of my job.'

Starting a business can be an exhilarating journey, from that first spark of an idea to landing your first client. Becoming a full-time male companion was no different for me. I felt like I was living a dream, pursuing my true calling while providing for my son and improving the lives of others. 

For the most part, it was incredible.

Watch: Psycho-sexologist Chantelle Otten shares sex tips for couples. Post continues after video.

Video via Mamamia.

Upon reflection though, and especially now that I am coaching other older men interested in following a similar path, as well as clients who have been involved with other escorts or thinking of hiring them, I am more aware than ever that everything was not as wonderful as it may have seemed. 

Here’s a short list of some of the great and not so great aspects of male escorting...

The worst parts.

The emotional challenges.

I like to describe the challenge of managing my own emotions while also providing support for my clients as juggling on a rollercoaster. There were times when I felt invincible, my confidence soaring and my ability to comfort and reassure those around me seemingly boundless. Every so often though, sadness and despair would seep in, stopping me in my tracks and causing me to withdraw completely. Picking myself up for my own financial and mental wellbeing, as well as to continue providing my clients with the support they needed, proved incredibly challenging during those times.


The grooming.

It sometimes seemed to take forever to be happy enough with my appearance to build up my confidence. A nice wardrobe, healthy eating, and regular haircuts were just the beginning. I would also trim my body hair, shave, pluck, and sometimes even wax strategic areas to get my body looking as good as possible. When your job often requires you to work in the nude, one tends to be hyperconscious of every little thing!

Cancelling jobs.

"Do I have to go through with a booking if I don't want to?" This is a question I get asked by many men I’ve coached, and my answer is always the same: no, you don’t. I remind them that the role of a companion is to provide clients with an amazing experience, but it’s not fair on anyone if care and affection are forced. Women value honesty and are far more perceptive than men, so I advise men to be honest, compassionate and professional in the unlikely event that they might want to cancel a booking. It feels awful telling a client that you can’t move forward with a booking but for me, it was a rare occurrence. Also, it was almost always due to factors unrelated to the client, such as distractions in my personal life.

The judgement.

As a coach, I always emphasise the importance of staying grounded and realistic, no matter how confident, successful and proud men might feel to be a part of the industry. After all, most people don't understand what the job entails. All sex workers know that there is a stigma attached to their work, but this shouldn’t be felt by our clients. One challenge I faced was reassuring my clients that they deserved to feel loved and cared for, and that paying for it is a perfectly acceptable, legal and above all, empowering decision.


The best parts.

Being your own boss.

Despite the challenges, my time as an escort was an incredibly fulfilling journey. I am grateful to have successfully run a business that gave me the freedom to work as often as I wanted while also challenging social norms. It was also an immense privilege to help women during significant moments in their lives.

Meeting new people.

I love meeting new people and learning all about their lives. In my previous roles in sales and a then as a lawyer, I had the opportunity to meet and work with a diverse range of people. However, it was my time as an escort that gave me the most unique and insightful perspective into human relationships. In my role as a confidante, I listened to women from all walks of life share their stories, hopes and dreams. I learned more about relationships in this role than I ever could have in a more mainstream profession.

Happy endings.

One of the most rewarding aspects of my work was receiving messages from clients who had been through a difficult time and were updating me on their progress. Many clients were kind enough to reconnect with me to let me know how well they were doing, and many of them shared that they had found new love. These messages always reinvigorated me and reassured me that, despite the controversial and highly stigmatised nature of my work, I was on the right track and making a real difference.

Mitch Larsson's book, Time For Her, is available here.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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