How to write your own unique wedding vows.

There are few things that are easy about planning a wedding. And writing your own wedding vows… sorry, but it’s definitely not among them.

After all, how do you capture the significance of such a life-changing commitment in just a few hundred words?

Obviously what you express to your partner during your wedding vows will be personal and unique to your relationship. But here are some tips to help guide you along the way.

How to write your own wedding vows.

Keep it simple.

Writing 101: don’t let the words get in the way.

Basically, this means the more you try to sound profound and literary the more you mask your message. If you mean, “You’re the best thing in my life”, then say it that way.

No one is expecting Shakespeare.


Consult each other.

You may want to keep your vows as a surprise until the big day, but it’s worth consulting your partner at the beginning of the writing process.

Decide how long you want them to be, whether you want to include any of the same promises or if you’d like to adhere to a similar structure.


Draw from your story.

Real-life examples are a simple yet deeply personal way to explain your feelings, so try and think of an anecdote that captures something significant/telling about your relationship.

Perhaps it was the first time you met, the moment you realised you were in love. Or even just an everyday observation that sums up how happy your partner makes you. eg. “Each morning when I open my eyes and see you smiling back at me I feel….”

Think about how being with that person has changed you. What have you learned about yourself/life/the world? That’s a nice way to show the impact your partner has had on you.

Mamamia Out Loud discuss the pros and cons of traditional vows. Post continues… 

Be authentic.

If you’re a relaxed, fun-loving couple then don’t feel the need to spout serious, deep expressions of commitment. Keep your vows relaxed and fun-loving, too.

“I promise never to steal the doona, unless you are hogging it.” Or “I love how we always finish each other’s…. sentences. Honey, you’re meant to say ‘sentences’.” Or “I promise to not get mad when you steal my chips. Even though you definitely should have ordered your own.”

Etc. Etc.

wedding vows
Remember. It's about the two of you, not everyone watching. Image: iStock.

Remember, it's not a performance.

You're not writing your wedding vows for the benefit of your guests or the people watching the video on Facebook a week later.

So quit worrying about whether they're good/funny/interesting/unique enough. It doesn't have to be the show-stopping, tear-jerking moment it is in the movies.

Just think about what your partner would want to hear if it were just the two of you standing there alone. Do that and you'll realise it's pretty simple: you love them, you can't wait to be married to them.

Precisely how you express that is up to you.