Placenta teddy bears are a thing. Read on if you dare.

Video by mwn

If you were grossed out by the mere thought of where this article is going but have elected to read it, congratulations on your brave decision. (And please, spare a thought for this writer.)

As the title suggests, we’re about to bring to your attention an option that you may not have considered if you were making plans for your placenta, after your baby is done with it.

Nothing says the miracle of birth quite like a placenta – the organ that provides the nourishment for an unborn child. It’s so packed full of essential nutrients, that many women decide to consume it, via pill, or frozen chips, or put into smoothies (or stir fries and lasagnes), to attempt to boost their iron and oxytocin levels.

Admittedly, it sounds somewhat repulsive, but rather than consider it a waste product, many mums view the placenta as a power-packed gift of childbirth. If it was good enough for the baby, it’s good enough for mum, right? Makes sense.

Ok, so, we hope all of that helps you understand the motivation behind the concept of Placenta Teddy Bears (although you will be forgiven if you still wish to vomit in your mouth a little).

Bonjour from placenta teddy! Image: Inhabitots.

This is no ordinary toy teddy bear for a child. It probably isn't something you'd proudly display on your marble side board.

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It's the sort of item that will be hidden in the deep recesses of a darkened wardrobe, waiting to come out at the right time in the future...most likely in the dead of night.

Because, this teddy, whilst not alive, is made from something that once very much was... and that once gave life to your offspring... and will seek recognition for that in its own way... when you least expect it...

#boo.

According to Inhabitots, the bear is, "A crafty alternative for those who don’t necessarily want to eat their placenta, but want to pay their respects to the life sustaining organ."

In order to make the placenta into a bear, it must first be cut in two and cured by rubbing sea salt into it. Once dried out, the placenta is treated with a mixture of tannin and egg yolk to make it soft and pliable.

Then, much like that crazy dude from The Silence of the Lambs, you can wear it as a skin - oops, I mean fashion it into any teddy bear shape you like.

Being the product of an organ, Placenta Bear needs to 'live' in an airtight glass jar...so that it can keep an ever-watchful eye (even though it doesn't have any), on your parenting of the child which it nourished for nine months.

Very special indeed.

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