'It's freakin' glorious!': The 4 best things about parenting tweens.

My husband ducked out for milk early one chilly Sunday morning and returned with a 2L bottle and an ever so slightly smug expression. “You should have seen the park,” he said. “Absolutely packed. Exhausted, cold parents everywhere. Remember those days?” And remember them I do. Because they weren’t all that long ago. And to be honest, my 11-, eight- and five-year-old STILL love the park. 

But our 7.30 am winter morning trips have now been replaced by weekend sport, or on some magical Sunday mornings, a whole lot of nothing. And I have to say, it is freaking glorious.

Life as a parent means adapting to constant change. And the shift from parenting babies and toddlers to tweens (and one young child) is a biggie. 

I wrote about being a ‘mum in the middle,’ and the complex emotions it brought with it. The grief at knowing that one phase was definitively over. The uncertainty of what the next would bring. And the excitement of what’s to come. And it IS exciting. 

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Despite their reputation as being tricky, somewhat emotional beasts, tweens, for the most part are awesome.

Here are four of the things I am loving the most about parenting my bunch.

1. Actual real-life discussions.

As a certified person who could, as my mum says, ‘talk under water,’ I enjoy a good chat. I am the person who will talk to anyone and everyone, so it’s no great surprise that my children have inherited this proclivity. They’ve been chatty for as long as I can remember but their conversational skills are now far more appealing than when we used to discuss the intricacies of dump trucks for hours/days on end.

My son recently attended an event for the Sydney Writers Festival where he was fortunate enough to meet a number of authors and attend their talks. He came home with a copy of Exit Through the Gift Shop, by Mayam Masters, a beautiful story that follows the main character as she navigates life with terminal cancer. Heavy, thought-provoking stuff. Picking my son up from the station after the event, he told me all about the book and read me an excerpt of a deeply moving poem that the author had shared during her talk. 

In that eight-minute drive home, we discussed life and death, and I asked him what he thought the message behind both poem and book was. He thought for a minute then replied; ‘life is pretty precious, and we need to use it wisely.’ 

We continued to discuss the book over the weekend, and it was just the most beautiful, honest, and insightful conversation. I am finding more and more that my kids have many things to teach me, when I’m able to take the time to listen, and that is pretty cool.

2. They sleep more.

As superficial as this feels and sounds, I have to say it’s a huge perk. My children never enjoyed sleep as babies and toddlers. I breastfed and bed-shared for what seemed to be about 5768 years and the lines around my eyes tell the story of the minimal sleep that was had for a very extended period. 

It is only when you START sleeping that you actually realise just how sleep-deprived you really were. And man was I sleep-deprived. Now that my children sleep in their own beds (or, in the case of our youngest, start the night there then sneak, ninja-like, into our bed at some point in the early hours) and I get a solid chunk of rest I am a much more functional human being. 

Yes, I am still tired. Show me a working parent of children who isn’t, and yes, life is probably busier now than it once was with many more commitments, but everything just seems more manageable when you’re getting rest. 

3. The ability to do tasks for themselves.

It’s amazing how fast you forget what having a baby or toddler is like. Despite living that life for a decent amount of years, the realities fly straight out of your mind when you’re no longer dealing with it on a daily basis. I recently attended my gorgeous nephew’s first birthday and was ‘up close’ with a number of babies and toddlers on the day. It had been a while, and let me tell you, I was not prepared for how intense their needs are. 

You absolutely take for granted the fact that your kids can grab their own snacks and find their own socks once it starts to happen regularly. Heck, my son can even make me a coffee using our coffee machine now and my eight-year-old daughter is an absolute gun at scrambling eggs and making omelettes. Of course, they didn’t just wake up and know how to do these things; it’s taken years of practice and their involvement in the running of our house, particularly in the kitchen, but it’s a little window into the fully functional humans they are growing into.

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4. Activities WITH them and not just FOR them.

This is a big one for us as a family. We’ve always encouraged the kids to have a go at all sorts of different things. Sports, art, music, drama, and anything that they want to try, we will always do what we can to facilitate it. 

As they’ve gotten older, they’ve started to discover things they really love and while some are completely new to my husband and me, some align with our own passions and interests which has been incredibly special. 

I have always been a huge water baby and all three of my kids have inherited the same love. When they were little, it was more about me supporting them in learning how to swim and handle the surf but as they’ve gotten a little older I am finding that I can actually get in and have a lot of fun with them. 

On Christmas morning this year, for the first time ever, my son, eldest daughter and I all caught a wave together on our different surf-crafts. 

Such a little thing but it was something I had dreamed about for a long time and the joy it brought me was pretty much the cherry on top of the Christmas celebrations.

How do you feel about your tweens and the various parenting stages? Do you have a favourite 'stage'? Tell us in the comments below? 

Naomi Cotterill is a mum of three, a teacher and a freelance content creator.

Feature Image: Supplied.