Being a mum in the middle: When your kids are no longer little but not quite big yet.

I remember being 'in the thick of motherhood', but I don’t really remember. My recollections are hazy, especially those from the early days of the toddler/newborn juggle. They’re a little clearer thinking back to the beginnings of life with three kids in 2017, but not by much. 

Exhaustion, feeling absolutely touched out from breastfeeding around the clock, and tending to the needs of two other small people. Relentlessness. The days seemingly running into each other. Juggling (and dropping) all the balls, all the time. Exhaustion. (Did I mention that one already?)

These days are different to when I was mothering very small people. I now have an 11-year-old, eight-year-old, and five-year-old. I’ve officially become what I’ve termed a 'mother in the middle', the stage where your kids are no longer incessantly needy toddlers but aren’t yet fully functioning 'big kids'. And it’s kind of a weird place to be.

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There was a certain grief in knowing that one phase of motherhood was over. That there’d never be another milky newborn cuddled up on my chest. No more first steps or pudgy toddler hands holding onto my own. Mothering young children is an experience like no other and the end of that season was tough to contend with. 

It also brought with it a whole lot of uncertainty. I KNEW babies and toddlers. They were a known quantity; I was always the one with a baby at the breast, toddler in a pram, and pre-schooler scooting off ahead. Playdates, vegemite sandwiches, and Peppa Pig on repeat. 

These things held a ton of comfortable familiarity, and I wasn’t 100 per cent sure who I’d be without them. But, as we all know, time waits for no mother and slowly but surely, the shift happened, and I became the mother of 'biggish' kids who now need me in a different way to before.

Image: Supplied.

There are no longer nappies to change but endless after-school activities to contend with. Having 'biggish' kids mean that you’re usually chief chauffeur as they aren’t quite old enough to get themselves from A to B. Daycare drops have been replaced by 'meet the teacher(s)', canteen duty, the 37,475 different school e-alerts that come through daily, homework, and the constant battle to stay on top of where all the white socks disappear to. 

There is infinitely more sleep, but the morning activities start earlier (hello Nippers and swimming training) and I know that nights where I await the footsteps signalling that my teenager(s) have arrived home are just around the corner.

Mothering looks different now to what it did 10 or even five years ago, but that grief and uncertainty has cleared, illuminating the beauty of now and what’s coming. This past summer holidays I was given a taste of the goodness to come when I spent time with my two older kids doing an open water swim together. We are a family of fish, but I’ve always had a passion for ocean swimming and had the opportunity to participate in a short one with my 11-year-old and eight-year-old. As we jumped in the water and started our very first open water swim together, I told them I’d been waiting a very long time for this day, to be in my favourite place, doing my favourite thing, with my favourite people.

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Motherhood is a constant evolution from one stage to the next. Just when you become comfortable with where you are, something changes, and you feel you’re back at square one all over again. Next year, my son starts high school and the thought of that makes me feel like a first-time brand new mother all over again.

But, like everything else, I know that high school will in time become as familiar as Bento Boxes and after school soccer is now. The end of any season is bittersweet but I am excited about what’s coming with my 'biggish' kids and my new role as a mother smack bang in the middle.

Feature Image: Supplied.