There is a woman in our office, who we shall not name, who has never looked forward to anything, not even the birth of her own children, like she has Trial by Kyle.
Whenever the show was mentioned in the week before it aired, she seemed to have an unusual amount of… facts.
Mr Kyle had done a mediation course, you see, to prepare. The cases were real. The people were real. And the judgements were final.
It sounded… familiar. Like a show we’d spent our entire childhood watching, and even at six had us wondering why grown adults would go on international television to bicker about $187 and be yelled at by a woman who said things like: “BEAUTY FADES DUMB IS FOREVER”.
But this version was better because Kyle. And a throne. But also the lack of legal knowledge and/or power mixed with the presence of ex-reality television stars whose Instagram followings seemed to be dwindling.
This was going to be trashy, fake and utterly... brilliant.
Simply, this was the show our nation deserved.
SHHH PLS the court is now in session.
Skye Wheatley vs. her boobs
As everyone knows, a few years ago ex-Big Brother contestant Skye Wheatley got her boobs done for free in Thailand, and they ended up looking like she went and got her boobs done for free in Thailand.
She had three boobs and allegedly that's not what she asked for.
She entered the court wanting to sue not the surgeon who gave her a third boob, but the company who had organised it. Although she obviously threw some shade at the surgeon.