Has your little one ever humorously defined an unfamiliar word? When kids try to give meaning to a word that they’ve never heard, or try to define a word they know only vaguely, the child often draws on the knowledge they do have and bravely take their best shot. The results can be hilarious.
In the tradition of Kids Say The Darndest Things (or the more modern Little Big Shots), The Funny Dictionary: An A-Z of Kids’ Funny Definitions shares hundreds of real-life examples of kids’ funny definitions collected by teachers and examiners across the decades.
Exclusively for Mamamia readers, here are my top 10 funny definitions from The Funny Dictionary:
10. Holy Acrimony!
Evidently confusing the word with alimony, or perhaps matrimony, this kid defined acrimony (which means bitterness or ill-feeling) as ‘What a man gives his divorced wife’. Though, perhaps, the child didn’t confuse the word at all?
9. All Latin to Me.
Back when kids were taught Latin, this kid was asked to translate Ave Domine. I’ve never learned Latin myself, but from Ave Maria, I know Ave means hail (as in Hail Mary). And I know Domine means Lord from Anno Domini (the year of our Lord). This kid got the ‘Lord’ bit right but wrongly related Ave to avian (relating to birds) when he defined Ave Domine as ‘Lord, I am a bird!’
8. A United State.
This child defined matrimony as ‘One of the United States’, evidently having heard phrases like ‘the state of holy matrimony’. I wonder if the US State of Matrimony is on the east coast or west coast?
7. Such A Dunny Fefinition.
This incorrect definition of spoonerism is adorable. Evidently, the child had heard of spooning before, and so defined a spoonerism thus: ‘A spoonerism is a love affair’. Aw.
6. Uncontrollable Urges.
An erg is a unit of work or energy. This kid must have had some inkling of the word’s meaning when he wrote ‘Erg means to give energy — for example, when you want your friend to do better in a football match, you erg them on.’ Nice work!
5. That Accelerated Quickly.