This post deals with abuse and might be triggering for some readers.
These warning signs often go unnoticed in the early days of a new relationship. And even when we do spot them, they'll generally get glossed over or just straight up ignored as we try to convince ourselves we're with the right person.
Often we'll try to dismiss their behavior as a one off occurrence or simply a personality quirk, as the excitement of being in a new relationship blinds us to what's really happening in front of us.
Watch: The Mamamia team confess our relationship deal-breakers. Post continues below.
It’s only when we look back at a relationship that we realise those inklings we couldn’t shake or the gut feeling we had about situation was actually… right.
So, to help you spot these signs going forward, we asked 37 women to share the relationship red flags they wish they hadn’t ignored.
Here's what they had to say.
1. "He had several women on the go."
"On my first time going to a new guy’s house, a woman walked out of his apartment block and said 'Oh, she’s the fourth one this week.' I ignored it, and that was dumb. Because he had several women on the go. And I stayed with him for NINE MONTHS... He also called her 'crazy', which tells you everything. I later found out he slept with her too."
2. "Showing no interest in your friends."
"Showing no interest in your friends and not making an effort to hang out with your social circle, but always expecting you to hang out with theirs."
3. "He cheated."
"When he cheated the first time and said he wouldn’t do it again."
4. "My ex used to make a spreadsheet of all our spending."
"I should've recognised the signs of it when my ex used to make a spreadsheet of all our spending and finances and balance what we owed each other to the dollar (we lived together). We'd even split things like getting a coffee together... it was madness."
5. "Gaslighting me from the start."
"I knew 100% that I had mentioned an upcoming event to him, but on the day he swore blind I didn’t and called me crazy. I can even remember exactly where I was standing when I said it!"
6. 'He was marking his territory.'
"My ex boyfriend sent flowers to my workplace for an entire year. Every time one bunch died, he sent the next one. I thought it was romantic, but it was 100 per cent him marking his territory. Especially given when we'd been together three years, he didn't even send me flowers on my birthday."