real life

Why The Bachelorette has ruined dating for everyone.


When I’m watching The Bachelorette with my wife I get the same comment EVERY SINGLE EPISODE:

“Awwwww! That’s so romantic!

Okay, I admit I could raise the game in the romance stakes. I’m starting to get worried. Am I doing enough? Surely watching The Bachelorette with my wife is a quality date, right?

Nope, The Bachelorette has only proven that I’m a failure when it comes to organising dates. I call it “The Bachelorette Effect”, and we’re all impacted by it – single, married, or however you define yourself.

What is “The Bachelorette Effect?” It’s when there’s a crazy amount of pressure to mix up your dating regime, mixed with a giant helping of extravagance.

Like, who goes jumping off a 12-metre cliff in a wet suit for a date? Where the hell do you get a cage of butterflies in the middle of nowhere? Expectations for dates are now way, way too high and this is making dating harder than ever.

Everyone is talking about the OTT dates that Sam Frost enjoys on a bi-weekly basis. My mate Tommy just told me that his girlfriend signed him up for Argentinian Tango lessons. He said he hates dancing. It seems that everyone’s dates suddenly… suck.

The problem with reality TV shows like The Bachelorette is that it makes us all think that we’re stars, especially when it comes to our love lives. And reality TV dating shows are one step closer to, well, reality than rom coms. Viewers can look at Sam Frost or the dweeby guys who got kicked in the first five episodes and honestly say to themselves: “I’m a real person and I can deserve to have a reality TV life!”

"It seems that everyone’s dates suddenly…suck"
“It seems that everyone’s dates suddenly… suck.” Image via Channel Ten.

But, wait a sec.

I can’t hire a billionaire’s party yacht at a moment’s notice for, you know, the casual James Bond-style Wednesday night cruise around Sydney Harbour. Oh, yeah, I’ve really dropped the ball because I forgot to hire that stunt plane ride so I could spend quality time with my wife. Will she still love me?! I did the dishes tonight and everything!

Look, I love having a candle-lit dinner with my wife, but in life’s big juggling act, date nights only happen once every blue moon.


The Bachelorette fantasy world is warping our minds and the classic “dinner in the beer garden of the local pub” date is at risk of becoming an endangered species.

Every date can’t be a life-changing event because you’d have a nervous breakdown and then you would go broke. 

Not to mention, this all makes me feel incredibly insecure. What was with all the guys on The Bachelorette also being Masterchef contestants? I can’t even cook. I’m sick of all these metro übermensch dudes who have cyborg bodies and can cook a “love fish”. I’ve never met a guy who can cook fish, let alone a love fish. What the hell is a love fish?

But maybe a little bit of insecurity is a good thing? I think we’re all guilty of getting complacent in our relationships.

A great part of The Bachelorette is that it shows guys willing to make a fool of themselves to win Sam Frost’s heart. And that’s great, because you should be a goofball for the girl of your dreams.

I asked a single friend of mine, Danielle, if The Bachelorette had changed her perspective on dating. Thankfully, Danielle came back with the voice of relationship reason:

“Only a moron would expect the kind of date you see on a reality game show. The first date is always great, but anything after that is regulation movie and favourite Italian restaurant stuff. Life isn’t TV, Jeff.”

Thank God, because I was literally about to call some politicians about how much it costs to hire a helicopter to fly to the Hunter Valley.

Do you know any men suffering from The Bachelorette Effect?