I’d like to quickly preface this post with an apology: I’m about to shamelessly objectify a young man. Sorry.
But before you cry “reverse sexism!”, I’d like to remind you a) there’s no such thing and b) firefighter calendars exist entirely to set people’s imaginations on fire.
And, holy smokes, once you see this photo of The Bachelorette‘s Cameron your cerebral cortex will be little more than a pile of ash, so you won’t even be able to be mad at me. Promise.
OK. Last night, our new bachelorette Georgia Love met bachelor Cameron, an unassuming but very tall firefighter from Perth.
When the 26-year-old, whose bio describes him as a “lovable country boy”, reluctantly revealed his presence in this year’s Perth Firefighter Calendar, Ms Love affectionately dubbed him Mr May. Then immediately made a mental note to Google him.
We did too, obviously.
The rather risque photo has been found and, oh boy. Australia, meet your Mr May.
GIVE HIM ALL THE ROSES.
We have a lot of feelings about this. Let’s break it down.
First of all, seriously — look at those abs. We haven’t seen abs like this since we read that drunk Tarzan review and spent an afternoon fawning over Alexander Skarsgard’s eight pack.
I’ve honestly never understood the expression “cheese grater” abs but I think I get it now. It’s when you rub cheese on someone’s abs so they can that incredible oily texture, right? It’s incredible.
If I was a home owner, I would sell my house and move to Perth then take our home and contents insurance and burn my new abode to the ground just so I could meet Cameron IRL.
Is this what all the contestants look like under those incredibly over the the top suits?
Missed last night’s episode? Catch up with Bach Chat:
Or maybe it’s just a Perth thing. I mean, we all know what Richie (aka Rig-chie)’s rig looked like. That thing has its own Twitter account. Whatever. I’m moving to Perth.
From an O&S perspective, however, the outfit is questionable. There’s a lot of bare flesh, which is not so good for actual firefighting. But again, whatever.
Here’s hoping the candles set fire to The Bachelorette mansion tonight so we can see Cameron in action.
Either way he’s bloody adorable, plus he asked Georgia straight-up what her job was and looked suitably impressed.
I literally don’t remember any of the other contestants’ names anymore. Cameron’s going to win.