reality tv

Errr apparently this year's Bachelor has been announced, and... what.

Guys, no.

According to my sources (Facebook, Google, New Idea), the beautiful man who will star in The Bachelor Australia 2019 has been announced.

There’s photos.

There’s a job title.

There’s a name.

Except… we have a problem.

Ummm.

We have never seen him before in our lives. 

According to New Idea, the crew on The Bachelor are calling the man 'Stephen,' leading us to conclude that his name may, in fact, be Stephen.

Photos of 'Stephen' show a tall, Caucasian, dark-haired man wearing a pink, slightly crinkled shirt that says 'I'm laid back and comfortable with my masculinity'.

'Sources,' who may or may not be Osher, say 'Stephen' is a doctor, and sir, why are you on this trivial TV show when you could be saving lives. That's dangerous for all of us.

In another photo, 'Stephen' is pictured without a shirt, and yes, it is very nice. The photos are exclusive to New Idea, but here's a sketch that provides an uncannily accurate representation of what he looks like.

Look.

I don't have anything against 'Stephen,' if that is his real name.

It's just that I don't know Stephen. I thought we all agreed that the next Bachelor was going to be Todd??????

Did Channel 10... forget?

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THIS
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MEANS
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YOU GET
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TO BE BACHELOR NEXT TIME

It's a... travesty.

I think we can all agree, however, that the reason for this move has everything to do with a certain Honey Badger - who gave well-known Bachelors a bad name by breaking the rules.

So now, it seems, Channel 10 are going back to the original model of having a stranger as their Bachelor, who will hopefully actually choose a person.

Dr Stephen, you better not let us down.

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