reality tv

"That b*tch is gone." All the insane things that happened in the latest Bachelor promo.

We can’t always count on a season of The Bachelor to end in everlasting love (looking at you, Honey Badger). But if there’s one thing it will never be short on, it’s drama.

The newest season begins next week starring astrophysicist Matt Agnew as a bachie looking for love.

We’ve already blocked out our calendars, purchased snacks and told precisely everyone we know we will be uncontactable after 7.30pm on Wednesday, so we were extremely pleased when Channel 10 released a new sneak peek promo showing just how dramatic good this season is going to be.

Watch the full trailer below. Post continues below video.

Video by Channel 10

There’s a lot going on, so we’ve unpacked it for you. It also gave us an excuse to watch it approximately 27 times… but that’s not the point…

On what planet are space puns funny? (SORRY).

In the nearly three minute promo we hear approximately 12,000 space puns.

  • “A down to earth Bachelor”
  • “Leaves the ladies over the moon”
  • “He boldly seeks a love that is out of this world”
  • “It’s the final frontier”
  • “When the planets align”
  • “The stars will definitely shine”

WE GET IT (even if some of the bachelorettes… don’t), he’s an astrophysicist.

There will be A LOT of insults.

Woah. Bachelor Matt is going to deal with some stuff, if this promo is anything to go by.

“She said that you were a dog f**ker and a disrespectful pig,” one contestant tells him about a fellow bachelorette.

Matt then tells producers he needs to grab her and “see if we can sort this out”.

Speaking to the camera, the woman who we think is behind the remarks (this could all be clever editing, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) says “I don’t want to change for anyone at this stage”.

the bachelor australia 2019
Sh*t.
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Matt then approaches her and she greets him with: "Oh f**k, hello".

WE NEED TO KNOW HOW THIS ENDS.

Someone wants to punch him in the face?

The 'him' in this scenario is not clear but... surely it's not Osher.

the bachelor australia 2019
Do you know what the word 'accident'... means...

"If I accidentally punch him in the face… it’s an accident," one of the contestants says cryptically (and no, Cyrell has not jumped into another reality show).

We also don't think that's how accidents... work.

At least one bachelorette gets sent home during a cocktail party.

At one point, we see a bachelorette say: "Bye bitch, that bitch is gone".

Then at another point we see Matt telling a brunette: "I think it's for the best that you leave the mansion".

During a different cocktail party (we think, because Matt's wearing a different shirt) he makes his frustration clear to all the other women, saying "For me, tonight has been a tremendous waste of time and I'm pissed off".

Juicy.

But he's still going to make some ~connections~.

Um, there are at least 12 different kisses in this promo and most of them play as we hear lovely words from women such as "I am falling for Matt a little more each time," and "I can see myself falling in love with him".

Unconventional dates are still a Bachie specialty.

See:

the bachelor australia 2019
WHY ARE YOU BLINDFOLDED.
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the bachelor australia 2019
All I'm getting here is "ET phone home".
the bachelor australia 2019
Of course this happens.
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the bachelor australia 2019
And also this.

There will also be tears.

We counted a montage of nine different people, including the Bachelor himself, shed tears. Make sure you have tissues at the ready.

THE L WORD.

The promo ends with Matt's voice saying "I love you" and OMG.

the bachelor australia 2019
THE SMILE OF SOMEONE IN LUUURVE.

Osher told Mamamia at the Logie's red carpet that Matt does "fall in love"with someone during his Bachelor experience, and he's very happy.

We guess this 'finding love on a reality TV show' thing does work... Sometimes.

The Bachelor Australia premieres Wednesday 31 July at 7.30pm on 10.

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