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"Give him an inch, he'll take a mile." Tenille on her relationship with Ivan after paradise.

Ivan’s controlling behaviour has been the main point of controversy surrounding this season of Bachelor in Paradise. 

It highlighted a level of perceived danger viewers hadn’t seen on the series before.

Watching Ivan resort to punching walls, threatening other men, and referring to Tenille as “his property”, rang alarm bells across Australia.

And that was just to the viewers at home.

Imagine being on the receiving end of such behaviour, and not even knowing the full extent of it.

Tenille – while aware Ivan was a little clingy, maybe even slightly obsessed with her – told Mamamia she had no idea just how bad it was during her time in Fiji, and describes watching these unseen moments as confronting.

Australia watched on uncomfortably as she tried to tell Ivan he needed to be less possessive and “pull back the reigns a little bit”.

But instead of listening to her, Ivan, 29, playfully tried to hold her hand and kiss her.

Watch Tenille breaking up with Ivan on Bachelor in Paradise. Post continues after video.

“The biggest thing for me was just the over-affection and just being in my pocket and stuff… but the other stuff was intense. I was shocked. If I’d known about that I would have gotten out of there a lot quicker,” the 25-year-old told Mamamia.

While she was unaware of Ivan’s temper – him violently punching a wall during the show, she says she always felt safe in Fiji under the watchful eye of producers.

“I never felt physically threatened by Ivan whatsoever, but the producers were always pulling me aside to say ‘We’re always around, if you ever feel uncomfortable in a situation let us know,’ and prior to going in to conversations with him the producers would always say ‘If you ever need us to step in let us know, come and talk to us, we’re right here and we can get you out of there’.”

Now, she wants Australia to know she would never stand for this sort of behaviour.

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“I don’t condone that behaviour in any way, shape, or form. I mean if that was happening to my sister or one of my friends that’s just unacceptable behaviour and it’s not OK.

“These comments where people were like ‘She’s almost condoning his behaviour, like why did she give him another rose,’ I wasn’t aware of his behaviour. I wasn’t in the room when he was punching walls.

“I’m a very strong person, if I’d have seen that I would have been like see ya later, I won’t stand for that – I won’t allow people to treat me like that.”

Tenille admits she’s worried about Ivan’s mental health following the overwhelming backlash against him – but feels as though she needs to be “cautious” in maintaining a friendship.

“I am friends with Ivan and I do see the good in him and I know it comes from a place of he just cares so much… too much. I have checked in with him, but at the same time I can’t validate that behaviour just because he’s a nice person,” she says.

“I have texted him to say ‘Wow’ like ‘Ivan that’s really bad,’ and I know he is remorseful. He’s embarrassed. He’s recognised that that whatever people said to him just didn’t get through to him and he knows that’s a problem.”

Since filming ended, Tenille and Ivan have seen each other in person.

She explains that during this encounter, she again had to explain there was no chance of anything romantic ever happening between them.

“We saw each other at the polo in Melbourne. It’s one of those things where he feels very strongly, so I have to be very careful around him, what I do, what I say, my actions. Everything so not to make him think there’s something there. It’s one of those things where if you give him an inch, he’ll take a mile. I feel like have to keep my distance,” she explains.

Ivan apologised for his behaviour on Instagram, admitting that he is seeking help. Image: Ten.
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"He asked me at the polo whether I could ever see things heading back to where they were with him and I just had to say like no. No.

"Even though you know... after everything that's happened. I'm still having to lay out the boundaries. If we are going to be in each other's lives it has to be purely a friendship and nothing more. When those boundaries get pushed or blurred I might have to make a tough decision."

Her journey in paradise came to an end with her and Nathan, 24, choosing to take their relationship beyond their time Fiji. But a week later, Tenille says Nathan told her he "just wanted to be friends," validating her thoughts that he was disingenuous during his time on the show.

Tenille had questioned whether Nathan was just seeking fame during their time together in Paradise. Image: Ten.

"It just didn't add up. It made me feel like none of it was real," she said.

After a fairly tumultuous experience on the show, Tenille says she's trying to be positive, but adds that it's "hard".

"This is the thing I've realised from this season. It is rough out there - every single one of the girls' relationships from Bachelor in Paradise just proves how tough it is.

"I know everyone says this is just a TV show... but this is stuff that every woman deals with in the real world. I'm sure there's a lot of other women who have had things like this happen to them before."

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