Over the past week, I have had a lot to do. We're close to Christmas; I need to go shopping, I need to finalise plans, and I need to work out how to make a pavlova.
But I have done absolutely none of it because Taylor goddamn Swift released another surprise album, evermore, on December 11. It's her second in 2020, after July's folklore.
It's been incredibly inconvenient, actually, because when Taylor Swift releases an album, I am rendered useless for at least three days. Those days are dedicated exclusively to listening. There are stories to decipher, lyrics to learn and emotions to feel over situations I cannot relate to on any level. That's just how it's gone since I was a 16-year-old with Fearless on repeat for six months, and I shan't be changing now.
Watch: Taylor Swift discusses evermore with Apple Music. Post continues below video.
We've come out the other end of those three days now. I can successfully recount the entire double-murder storyline of 'No Body, No Crime', but I still don't know how to make pavlova.
I've realised a running theme throughout evermore. The songs make me - and everyone else, according to my deep internet lurking - feel existential.
It's the kind of album where you imagine yourself sitting on a train - probably to nowhere, because that feels very Taylor - and just... thinking.
So in a bid to continue my sabbatical of actual work, I present this very important ranking of Evermore's 15 tracks by how much I envision myself staring out a train window while listening to them.
15. Long Story Short.
'Long Story Short' is less 'existential crisis' and more 'let's go dancing'.
Self-reflecting, Taylor sings about 2016 - the peak of that Kimye drama and that now infamous summer, featuring a Marvel character in a singlet - and how it all lead to her being here now... genuinely happy.
"Past me / I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things / Your nemeses will defeat themselves / Before you get the chance to swing," she sings, and we bop.