With my hair curled, my showgirl face on and sparkly jewellery, I could cast a spell over the whole club when I got up onstage.
People watched, applauded and complimented me.
But it was all fake.
I’d walk past men from The Club out on the street, with my hair in a ponytail and my make-up wiped off, and the same guy who only days, or sometimes mere hours before had been showering me with compliments and begging me to go out with him, barely deemed me worthy of a second glance. Lots of guys wanted to fuck Suzie Q. But very few wanted to get to know and date Emma. It made me shut Emma away even more. She needed to be protected from these men. They equated what they saw onstage with who I was as a person. They equated Suzie Q with Emma.
You can’t reduce me, as a person, and my sexuality, to what you’re seeing onstage. What you’re seeing onstage isn’t real. What is real is me, in my pyjamas, with a stuffed animal in one hand and cup of tea in the other. What’s real is a seventeen-year-old girl, crying real tears of frustration as an entire room of her peers turns against her and genuinely believes that feminism destroyed the ‘happy family’.
Mia Freedman interviews Samantha X on No Filter. Post continues below.
For me, feminism is the freedom for a woman to do whatever it is she wants to do –whether that’s be a high-flying CEO, or raise three kids. Or do porn. Or be a sex worker.
Or all of the above.
And to do it without other people criticising her. Men can do any, or all, of these things without anybody raising an eyebrow. We don’t have to refer to this as ‘Meninism’.