If you own a Staffordshire Bull Terrier you’ll know that they’re unlike other dogs. They have a unique… hardness. And a certain vitality unparalleled by other breeds.
Affectionately known as Staffies, this breed of dog has some strange characteristics. Mostly… that they believe in their souls that they’re… human. And can do human things.
Australian comedian Nick Cody perfectly articulated the unique reality of owning the beloved dog breed during the Melbourne International Comedy Festival this week.
“Let’s be honest, Staffies are a bogan dog,” Cody tells the audience.
Cody posits that for those who don’t know what a Staffy is, it’s because “you are wealthy”.
“Nobody on the BRW Top 200 Rich List, knows what a Staffy is. But everyone in a Centrelink, yeah they know Staffies.”
Cody explains he rescued a Staffy recently, and his wife named their new family member after her favourite brand of hummus: Yumi. The best thing about being the owner of a Staffy, Cody explains, is that they’re “a proper dog”.
“I live in the Inner North, I’m the only one with a proper dog. I see a lot of my neighbours walking around with what they happen to think are dogs but what I see are tiny pieces of sh*t attached to a string.”
“A Staffy is the sort of dog you can coward punch and it thinks you’re playing. That’s a dog.”
Explaining what it’s like to have these furry friends as part of the household, Cody explains “‘Staffy’ is actually an ancient Japanese word that means ‘We’re not getting our bond back’.”
“I think this thing just watches The Block when I’m at work. ‘Yeah I’ll do some renos around here. Let’s knock down that wall between the bedroom and the kitchen. Let’s go! Open this joint up a bit’.”
In an attempt to describe what owning a Staffy is like to non-Staffy owners, Cody likens it to “living with a tiny hurricane made out of bricks”.