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‘We just noticed a few slight changes.’ How Sophie Cachia knew her marriage was over.

When Sophie Cachia announced her split with her husband of four years, Jaryd Cachia in September 2019, fans were surprised by the sudden news.

Sharing her news in an Instagram post, the 29-year-old was adamant she and Jaryd were on amicable terms, stating that he was “forever my soulmate” in a later Instagram post. They would also continue parenting their two children – Bobby, six, and Florence, two.

“Separation more often than not comes with the assumption of animosity or hatred,” she wrote.

“Whilst it hasn’t always been easy navigating through co-parenting under the same roof this year [which has included family holidays, continual support of personal careers & no changes to our social setting], we truly appreciate how lucky we are to have each other.

“Unfortunately we could no longer agree on which setting to have the toaster on, who left the sock drawer open and if you really put butter before peanut butter. But really… we aim to continue to create our very own version of happiness together as a family and to bring our children up with the inspiration to continually do what makes you happy and live your life how you want to live it.

“We are merely a case of two kids who fell in love hard early and are now two adults who love and respect each other enough to part ways amicably. We have always had – and still do daily – operate as one mind, and that’s why there’s been so much understanding with such a sensitive topic.”

Sophie Cachia talks about ‘sharenting’ and the one rule that can’t be broken. Post continues below.

Video by Mamamia

Four months later, the couple continues to be on great terms and have no plans to officially divorce. Jaryd is frequently seen in Sophie’s Instagram posts and the family of four recently celebrated Christmas together.

Appearing on the podcast, Having A Chat, Sophie told host, Tommy Casha, how she and Jaryd mutually agreed on their separation.

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“It was sort of both of us to be honest, we just noticed a few slight changes in things and what we wanted, and we were going to buy a family home and then both of us were like ‘Let’s hold off on that,’” she said.

“We sort of had to pay attention to all of these things, and it started with a very open conversation at the back of our house about what would our lives look like if we took some time apart.

“And at that stage we were totally in love with each other still, a very active sex life, doing everything a married couple could do and it just started as a very loose conversation like that.”

While their initial conversation started in 2018 after the birth of their daughter, Sophie said it took them two years to come to a decision.

“It was obviously not a conversation that we took lightly and we took that long to come to a final decision,” she said.

“Our families have been so incredibly supportive but obviously at the start when we told them, they were shocked… It was probably a little hard for them and a little sad for them to understand why we would separate because we were so great, until once we explained to them that these conversations had been happening for quite a while.

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“Close friends of ours, they were all in the loop, and they’ve been great and now Jaryd and I still rock up in the same car to a friend’s barbecue or friend’s wedding or something like that and no one bats an eyelid because those around us know what we’re like and who we are and we’re going to be like that forever moving forward.”

The influencer, blogger and businesswoman said a huge part of their split also came from the fact they both wanted to spend more time on their own.

The couple have been together since 2011 and have been married since 2015. Sophie – then 20 – was studying journalism at university and Jaryd, 19, had been drafted for the Carlton Football Club. Two years after they began dating, they welcomed their first child, Bobby, in April 2013 which was also the year Sophie started her blog, The Young Mummy.

“For me, a huge focus was I wanted to learn independence. I wanted to know that I could be okay on my own,” she said.

“I was Sophie who was at uni and living with mum and dad, and then I just moved in with Jaryd and two friends of ours when I got pregnant and then Jaryd and I moved into our own place, so I’d never done anything really on my own.

“I’d always had dreams to live on my own, by myself in my own apartment. Obviously life didn’t go that way and it was great and I was so happy… Now it’s just a matter of, we are fully responsible for our family and each other and our beautiful children, but now we’re just saying ‘Hey it’s okay if you want to take some time out for yourself.’”

Since their split, Sophie has also spoken about experimenting with her sexuality, which she told the Shameless podcast was part of her “self-discovery period”.

“I’ve been asked a lot lately if I’m gay and for me, it’s that self-discovery period that I am going through,” she told hosts, Michelle Andrews and Zara McDonald, admitting that she’d dated men and women since her separation.

“Am I sitting here and saying I’m a lesbian? No, I’m not. Am I saying I’m not a lesbian? No. I haven’t been able to speak about it because I haven’t known what’s going on – we talk about people being entitled on Instagram – a lot of people, because they have been open to so much of my life, they want an answer, and it’s like, guys, I can’t give you a f**king answer when I don’t know what the answer is right now.”

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Although both Sophie and Jaryd are aware they’re in a “very unique situation,” she puts the success of their relationship down to both of them respecting each other while also putting their kids first.

“In a sense, it’s been a focus of us to put our kids first, but it’s also been a really big focus to put ourselves individually first,” she told Tommy Casha.

“People might look in and see a failed marriage but we don’t see how we’ve failed at all, because we’ve produced this beautiful family and this friendship has flourished, if anything our partnership has got stronger just in a different way.

“We have no doubts that we are going to face some difficult times but we respect each other. We’ve always said you can fall out of love with someone but as soon as you lose respect for them, that’s when it will change.

“Jaryd and I have not lost one ounce of respect for each other, if anything we’ve grown more and if anything we’ve grown love just in a different way, in a whole different area.”

Feature image: @sophiecachia_

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