Alert the authorities. There’s been a major breach of all that is good and pleasant about the world.
Someone, somewhere has ON PURPOSE created a monster. Introducing what is very much-quite-possibly-definitely the worst shoe trend to ever have existed on the earth.
The sock sneaker, a sneaker and sock hybrid that no-one asked for.
Anyone else think they look like an alien had its foot chopped off?
It's no secret that sneakers have enjoyed a fashion revolution the past few years, transforming from a shoe restricted to exercise and dads to accepted-to-the-point-of-encouraged for everyday (and even formal) wear.
That we don't mind. They're comfy, can look stylish and are actually practical for running after public transport.
But the sock sneaker is about five steps too far.
We can point the finger of blame at big athletic brands for first coming up with the concept a couple of years ago through the Nike Lunar Epic Flyknit and the Adidas NMD City Sock.
Then earlier this year, luxury designers jumped on the bandwagon, closely followed by high street brands like to bring the travesty to the masses.
Sock sneakers are now reportedly taking over New York, presumably biding their time for world domination.
There's one particular style rising to the top - Balenciaga's Speed Trainer, essentially a knitted sock attached to a plastic soul, I mean, sole.
It's being called "the hottest shoe of the season".
To make matters worse, YOU have to pay almost $700 for the privilege of wearing them. They're available in black and white and you should be buying neither.
Dior have also just released a version that will set you back about $880.
The trend that should never have been allowed also raises such existential questions such as 'Do I still need to wear socks underneath?' and 'Won't my feet get really gross and sweaty without socks?" and 'Who am I?'.
Look, I don't want to tell you how to live your life. You do you. If you don't have a thousand dollars to drop on a shoe that should be banned then Tony Bianco currently have a grey version for the much more reasonable $149.95.
Just don't come complaining about your sweaty feet to me.