I don’t know what is more complicated, modern day dating or infinitesimal calculus?
The former entails excruciating heartbreaks, whimsical rendezvous, drunken Tinder swiping, all-encompassing love, ghosting anxiety and of course, my most recent romantic endeavour; the situationship.
A situationship is the term for relationships that never quite make it “official”. These can be particularly hard to get over because how do you grieve the loss of someone that was never truly yours? And in my case, I knew it was bound to end the entire time I was in it.
Watch: The horoscopes when dating. Post continues after video.
Yet, when it came to its inevitable yet devastating finale five months later, I was left feeling heartbroken.
One minute you’re swept up in canoodling on the couch, the next your brunch buddy and trusty lift home after a drunken night out is simply gone.
With great casual pleasure, comes great responsibility! The lines can easily become blurred and those impassioned little feelings will slowly seep in, despite how much you deny it to yourself and every single one of your friends.
So, when it ends it's completely normal that you’re going to be upset about it.
We live in a culture where we feel compelled to label and title things as “legitimate” relationships. Telling yourself that it wasn’t “real” won’t make you feel any better. Feel all your feelings. Seriously, cry about it while drinking one too many glasses of pinot noir on a Tuesday night and then call your best friend and cry a little more. Watch Sex and the City until midnight, hoping to embody the nonchalant energy of Samantha Jones. Tell the same story about how he was such a nice guy to your friends again and again until they threaten to strangle you. And lastly, lurk them on Instagram until you feel that awful pit in your stomach and then try to build up the courage to mute them.
It is all part of the process of healing. The sooner you feel it all, the sooner you can put those feelings to rest and move on.
Listen to this episode of The Undone, where Emily and Lucy discuss the dramatic world of situationships. Post continues after podcast.