
Unlike many first time mothers my whole approach to my first pregnancy, including giving birth was just to ‘wing it’ and hope for the best. My birth plan was no plan.
“I’m going to be a cool mum,” I told myself, and would just go with the flow, avoid reading and stressing over everything and just embrace every challenge as I met it.
So when the midwife at my local Child Health clinic signed me up for a Mothers’ Group four weeks after my daughter was born, I was pretty convinced that I didn’t need such a support network.
“Oh that’s not for me,” I casually dismissed after my last at-home midwife appointment. “I don’t need a Mothers’ Group.”
I foolishly believed that I had plenty of friends who were mums, lots of forums to follow and a great support network around me. Mothers’ Groups, I arrogantly surmised, were reserved for the social outcasts and friendless women of the world.
However, as the weeks rolled on and the date came closer to attend the first appointment (they start typically when your baby is nine-weeks-old) I became curious about other mothers who weren’t my friends and what they were experiencing.

Top Comments
This writer is lacking in empathy. What arrogance to think you are so much better than anyone else, & not only think that but insult people who may have less of a friendship/support circle than you by calling them weirdos.
I'm one of the sad exceptions. My local early childhood health centre organised mothers group started when my baby was about 4 or 5 weeks old, and it was too early. I was still in a post birth happy bubble, so all the talk of problems seemed negative to me in that moment, and I was not able to get there in time for the early starts, so I missed all but the first session, which closed me out of ongoing meetups. Furthermore, they ethnically segregated the groups, but my husband being an immigrant meant the cultural, childrearing and language of our house was different. A culturally diverse group would have been much more comfortable to me.
Regardless, I had no mum friends and now before 2 months had even passed I had lost the biggest opportunity to make some. 10 months later, deep in the fog of pnd, the centre advised me they don't keep any ongoing contact with mother's groups once the program ends so it was just sort of 'too bad' I couldn't find a support network that way.
It still makes me sad thinking back how alone I felt.
That seems so short-sighted of the organising centre - sorry to hear you had such a terrible time. Surely a one-size-fits-all approach, wherein women are shunted into groups at a single point in time soon after birth, must fail all the time? I would imagine there would be huge capacity to facilitate groups for women (and men) who are looking for support at different points in time during the first year or two particularly.