Stage fright can manifest itself in a myriad of ways, from public speaking to performing in bed. And whilst the former is probably the most commonly talked about form, the latter is certainly not as rare as you may think.
Reddit user goodnewley recently posted about his boyfriend’s anxiety, which is most prominent whilst they are being intimate. The two have been together for five months, and, as he explains, everything is going smoothly bar his partner’s performance anxiety in bed.
“Lately, sexy time has literally devolved into me having to lay there and comfort him 3/4 times we’re in bed.
“The act itself is good. No complaints. But if I’m not vocal enough, he descends into calling himself a ‘stupid failure who can’t please me.’ And then I hold him, assure him he’s not, and repeatedly tell him I’m not leaving him.
“If I’m too vocal, I’m ‘faking it to make him feel better’ and once again, it’s my job to lay there and comfort him.”
He adds that once his anxiety takes over, “we’re done for the night”.
“Charlie was my first everything. Being romantic with him is a large place of vulnerability for me, and I just don’t know what to do when this happens.”
Whilst user goodnewely knows that his partner “can’t help mental illness”, he is also aware that the couple “need to talk about it”.
“But I’m afraid of sending him spiralling.”
The comments section of the post is awash with people who have had similar experiences, either with themselves personally suffering from sexual performance anxiety or a partner.