I’ve spent the better part of 12 months trying to explain to my 93-year-old grandfather how Uber works.
We downloaded the app. I tried to explain how they know where he is and why he doesn’t need to pay them with cash from his wallet. (Dude… who still carries cash?)
We were making progress.
And then one week ago, I sent him a text message.
“Hey Pop! Just got off a ScUber. It’s like an Uber, but a submarine. We saw a turtle. Here’s a photo of me in it! It was driven by a pilot with a PlayStation controller and it’s battery powered. So cool! Talk soon xxx.”
Here’s what a ScUber looks like. Post continues.
We did not talk soon, because my Pop is yet to reply.
I imagine that he read the message, then muttered “ScUber” to himself and shook his head with an air of irritation. He would’ve proceeded to consult his set of encyclopedias and flicked to ‘S’. When he couldn’t find it, he would’ve tsk-ed, and re-read the “it’s like an Uber but a submarine” portion of the message which would have really thrown him.
He’s probably read the message a dozen times a day since, and still – nope. No idea what it means. So he’s deleted it and returned to his paperback which you don’t need a goddamn app to access.
But if Pop thinks I’m done talking about my ScUber experience he is very, very wrong.