It’s 2019 and people have lost the critical art of human decency, especially when it comes to dating.

No this isn’t a rant about ghosting – we’ll save that for another time – this is a horrifying glimpse at the real-life excuses people use to excuse cheating.

It started when Twitter user Tess (@that1mum) asked her followers for the “funniest excuse” they’ve been given by a cheating partner, and the answers are truly frightening.

What’s the funniest excuse for cheating someone has given you? I’ll go. My ex told me he cheated on me because I had a driving phobia.

— tess (@that1mum) December 4, 2019

From ‘it was my evil twin,’ (yes, really) to the age-old excuse of: ‘my mum did it,’ (???) this Twitter thread is proof that romance may be dead.

Group therapy post-reading is recommended.

Sophie Monk talks to Mamamia about cheating. Post continues below.

My ex came to pick me up one day and he had a hickey on his neck and I was like ??? And he told me his mom kissed him on the neck and bit him and left that. Then when I got there his mom was all like “DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID HAHAHA” and I was just like ???? I can’t leave…

— Deja (@Personvlity) December 4, 2019

he cheated because i cut my hair off and he didn’t like how we looked together

— JOSIE • dm to book (@piscestroIogy) December 4, 2019

The other girl bought him a Jimmy Johns sandwich so he had to pay her back somehow ????????‍♀️

— katherine (@Kat_Dombroski) December 4, 2019

“Because I couldn’t stay at your house and I had an argument with my parents” ok sorry I’m not Airbnb

— ???????????? (@nworb_zaf) December 4, 2019

he blamed it on me because i was a “whore” since i had had sex before we were together and he hadn’t, and he wanted to see what it was like to bang other people… it just wasn’t “fair” that i “had experience” & he didn’t

— rachel ???? (@m0thmama) December 4, 2019

I was pregnant at the time and he told me I had too much anxiety and it gave him anxiety so when the girl kept flirting with him he caved in because he was taking his mind off all the stress

— ???????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? (@Angelinaj0108) December 4, 2019

a different ex CAUGHT HERPES and HIS MOM asked if he was taking his medicine in front of me (she’s a real one for that) and i asked what medicine he told me he had tuberculosis

— elizabeth warren stan account (@lanzo0rtega) December 4, 2019

he cheated because he thought i needed the trauma for my character development… this is not a joke he was a poet/writer

— ???????? (@B1TCHj) December 5, 2019

He said “I did it because you don’t go through my phone. I need that to keep me in check” because I never went on or through his phone ????????‍♀️

— Ari (@ariannacyrene) December 4, 2019

my ex told me he was sex deprived and scientifically that justified him sleeping around

— Abby Govindan (@abbygov) December 4, 2019

One of the many times my ex cheated on me, he told me “she has the same name as you, I thought it would be a funny story to tell you later on” it was indeed NOT a funny story.

— typh (@tiffanigypsy) December 4, 2019

My ex from PA said I wasn’t worth the drive anymore (i lived in Michigan) but then turns out she was cheating on me for months with a girl from Canada. Here’s the kicker, SHE HAD TO DRIVE THROUGH MY STATE FIRST NEAR MY CITY AND CROSS A BORDER FOR THIS CHICK.

— Jessica ???? (@JessaFer94) December 5, 2019

“you are too easy to love” and it scared him…I still don’t understand lol.

— ???????????????????? (@_miniracer) December 4, 2019

He forgot to pay his phone bill so he couldn’t reach me fast enough. pic.twitter.com/xLM9ihPfOp

— ♡ c (@_chrissyyy) December 4, 2019

he said my head was “too small” in comparison to his and he was worried that he’d always have to stand behind me in pictures???

— celine (@fl0werchildren) December 4, 2019

My ex really told me one time it was because I go to sleep too early

— Dax ???? (@daxlovesdoggos) December 5, 2019

He wanted to “see if the grass really was greener”

— Carly Rae Jesse (@tinderdistrict) December 4, 2019

he cheated on me bc i started wearing combat boots and he was afraid i was turning “goth”

— madison stephens (@josephinesmom6) December 4, 2019

“It’s okay! We’re cousins!”

— Jackie (@Jackie11Harris) December 5, 2019

He never admitted it but he said it was his twin brother that was using his name & identity (including tattoos he has on his arms)to sleep with girls and tarnish his name. Basically saying he has an evil twin brother. He never mentioned having a twin the whole time we were dating.

— J. Voltaire (@JessVCause) December 6, 2019

What is the worst excuse for cheating on someone that you’ve ever heard? Tell us in a comment below.